George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together.

George Clooney says, "I'll direct."

DiCaprio yells, "I'll produce!"

And Matthew McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar.

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he’s the one with t...

Quentin Tarantino has said his filmmaking career is over

Because now it's more than thirty years old, Leonardo DiCaprio isn't interested any more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Leonardo DiCaprio's favorite sex position?

Definitely not woman on top.

Last time that happened, he froze to death.

What's the similarity between DiCaprio and this decade?

Both will have dates in 20s.

What did Leonardo DiCaprio name his son?

Leonardo DiCapriSun

What's it called when you cut off Leonardo DiCaprio's head

DiCapritation

I bet if Leornardo DiCaprio has a kid...

he names it Oscar so he can finally have one.

When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio...

but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since h...

I want to be like Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception.

He has a dream job.

A Swedish bartender is found to be the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio

As it turns out, they have the same amount of Oscars, too.

I really didn't enjoy my Hollywood Internship...

They made me follow Leonardo DiCaprio around for 6 hours carrying his water bottle which was exhausting.

They made me floss between Tom Cruise's toes which was humiliating.

But when they made me spank Dwayne Johnson...

That's when I knew I'd hit rock bottom.

(edit: no lon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

When I'm feeling down.

I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio

How was your job interview yesterday?

- Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting on the table.

He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside then come back and try to sell him the laptop.
He thought himself some Leonardo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Stree...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I said to the doctor, rather embarrassingly, "I had to stop watching Titanic the other night after my butt plug got sucked up into my arse."

He said, "How far in?"

I said, "The bit where Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet get it on."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Black guy arrives at Heavens Gates...

The man is worried that due to his race, they might discriminate and not let him in. So when he walks up to the pearly gates he decides that at the very least, to better his chances to get in, he can change his name to that of a white person.

"Name?" asks St. Peter

The man searches for...

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

It's the day before Halloween in Hollywood

A group of actors old and new are hanging out talking about their plans and what they're going to be dressed up as. Among them are Nic Cage, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Leonardo Dicaprio. The trio are huddled together as all three still haven't decided on a costume!
"We should plan something as a...

What do you call a wheelchair bound Leo?

HanDicaprio. .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Make your own joke. "My cock is Titanic...."

A few ones to far:

Leonardo Dicaprio went down on it

It's full of dead seamen

Women and children go first

The lucky ones survive

Any more ideas?

illegal immigration attempt

an extremely black african man is trying to get to europe, he makes a fake passport with leonardo dicaprio's name and photo, at the airport the Airport Agent checks the man's passport and he is confused, he looks at the man's face again and rechecks the passort, still confused he calls his coworker ...

An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet...

It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code.

Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, "You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."

Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, for...

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