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Spaced Out Jokes

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neighbours

A spaced out man decides to visit his neighbor in the apartment below him and share a joint. Whilst high as kites he asks his neighbour: heyyyyy, I love the paint job you did. Since my apartment is identical in size to yours tell me how much paint did you buy to paint this place? The neighbour says:...

Ever since covid

Ever since covid i feel like people are really spaced out..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey, it happens as you get older

NSFW

30 years ago I saw a sideshow that touted, "Harold, the Magnificent Jew"

Intrigued I paid the entrance fee and had a seat in a packed tent with about 50 others.

In the back of the tent was a table on a small stage. The sideshow barker came out with a large fellow in just a ...

Went to a restaurant last night

I was a little worried because of it being so soon after the reopening. Sure all the sat tables were pretty well spaced out, but I was still nervous.

The waitress came over and gave us the standard greeting and asked us we wanted anything to drink, but I was still thinking about my health...

George is at his first middle school party but really nervous cause he's mostly an introvert

He tries to fit in but we can see he is visibly sweating, his more social friend, Finn walks up to him and George finally sighs of relief.

Finn: George, what are you doing man? You're sweating like a fountain!

George: Well you know how I really don't like being around a lot of people, ...

Two astronauts are aboard the ISS.

One astronaut loses focus while in the airlock, and floats back outward.

The second astronaut lunges forward on a tether and grabs him before they can go too far, and goes back into the airlock.

"What the hell man?" Shouted the second astronaut. "You could have died!"

"Sorry, I ...

If we are made of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen.

And the universe is made up of primarily oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, and nitrogen.Is this why I'm so spaced out?

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