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Similarities Jokes

I've seen similarities drawn between the founder of OceanGate and John Hammond, but there is one huge difference.

Hammond spared no expense.

How what are similarities between and hurricane and a woman?

When they come they are wet and wild and by the time the leave the take your house and your car!


p.s

Don’t know where the how came from... sorry for it!
Also, it’s my cake day!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the similarities between doing a bungee jump and sleeping with a prostitute?

Both cost £50.
Both last 30 seconds.
And if the rubber snaps you're fucked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the similarities with Donald Trump's Hair and a thong?

They both barely cover the arsehole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whats the similarities between bungy jumping and cheating?

First you dont dare and if the rubber breaks you are fucked

What are the similarities between the royal family and yeast?

There both inbred.

What are the similarities between alien movies and school?

They are usually shot in America.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW What are the similarities between a 9V battery and a your new partners butthole?

You know you shouldn’t, but sooner or later you’re gonna put your tongue to it! ;)

What are the similarities between an apple and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

I found striking similarities with my car and my girlfriend

Both don't exist.

the similarities between a wife and a grenade

if you pull the ring off, the house is gone

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

Parallel lines have so many similarities...

...It's a shame they'll never meet!

There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...

Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846.
JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.

Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
JFK was elected President in 1960.

Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy.
Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.

A week before ...

What's the similarities between princess Diana and Pink Floyd?

Their last big hit was the wall

What's the similarities between constipation and a racist?

They're both pieces of sh*t that don't come out.

The similarities between alcohol and girls...

... Both have the quality of giving pleasure at night and headache in the morning.

What are the similarities between playing GTA and being jewish?

You get chased after just one star

Thor and Thanos actually had many similarities in Endgame.

For one, they were both hammered.

What's the similarities between my wife and a nail?

I can't unscrew either of them.

What are the similarities between a tornado and marriage?

They both start off with a lot of blowing and sucking, but in the end you lose your house.

What are the similarities and differences between a coffin and a condom?

They both hold a stiff.

One is for coming one is for going.

What are the similarities between a hamster and an antivaxer's kid?

They both only live for five years.

What similarities do Donald Trump and Donald Duck have in common besides their name?

They’re both quacks.

What's the similarities between a priest and McDonalds?

They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

What are the similarities between fat chicks and bricks?

they both get laid by mexicans

What are the similarities between the sun and a bikini

1. They are both hot
2. They both look better when going down and
3. They both go down at night

Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution.

Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.

Have you ever heard of the similarities between a choo choo tran and a brthday?

Neither have i

Apart from the name, what similarities do pencil rubbers and rubber johnnys share?

They both erase mistakes.

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