UPJOKE
thresholddoordoorwaydoorsillneighbourneighborneighborsmailboxdoorbelldoormatsillfront porchstilepassagewayentrance

Doorstep Jokes

True Story: I found a note on my doorstep today.

Opening it, I was excited to see a riddle!

It read:
"What dog has legs
But cannot run.
A tail,
It cannot wag,
A mouth,
But cannot bark,
A nose,
But cannot smell?"

I love ...

A Buddhist monk goes to a barber to have his head shaved.

"What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones.


That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay y...

How do you get an art major off your doorstep?

Pay for your pizza.

What relation is a doorstep to a doormat?

A step-farther.

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

The whale jizz on my doorstep

5 years ago on this very night, I found a jar of whale jizz on my doorstep. It was beaten and injured, it needed my help. I nursed it back to health and raised it like my own son.
Today it finally graduated from university and I was just so proud.
It looked at me and said
"Thank you, for...

A priest goes to the barbershop and asks how much a trim would cost.

The barber answers, "oh, you're a holy man, I can't charge anything." He gives the priest a trim, the priest thanks him, and leaves. The next day, the barber finds some gold coins on his doorstep.

After a few weeks, an imam comes to the shop. He asks the barber how much it would cost for a be...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

“My husband just wants to have sex all the time”

Vented the recently married woman to her sister, “it’s every day like clockwork he gets home from work, takes off his clothes at the doorstep and says “I’m home honey let’s hit the sack”. Don’t get my wrong I love him and the sex is good but I need a break I can barely walk””

Then the sister ...

If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on

...it's a little chili outside

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on your doorstep?

An ambulance.

What to you call the quadruple amputee on your doorstep?

Matt.


What do you call him when he's in the pool?

Bob.


What do you call him when he's nailed to the wall?

Art.


What do you call him if he's in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

My boss asked me why I left a bucket of fried chicken on his doorstep

I told him I was tendering my resignation

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

The other day a mysterious package appeared on my doorstep.

Upon further inspection, I realized it was a large bowl-shaped object with two knobs that controlled the outflow of a liquid. I stood on the doorstep and yelled to my wife to come and look. She told me she had ordered it for the bathroom.

Let that sink in.

A woman, tired of being alone, posts a personal ad

In the ad, she says she's looking for a man who won't beat her, won't walk out on her, and can please her in bed.

A few days later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and is surprised to find a man on her doorstep with no arms or legs. "I'm here about the personal ad," the man says casual...

Why did I walk your sister to the doorstep after our date?

Because if I dropped her off at the curb I’d be littering!

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A redditor walks in to bar...

The bartender says, "what'll you have?"

"It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before."

"That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender.

"I should warn you", the redditor says, "I b...

There's a man on my doorstep delivering a replacement bathroom fixture right now.

Let that sink in.

A neighbor comes home to find his blonde neighbor crying outside her doorstep

He goes up to her and asks her what's wrong, to which she replies,

"I recently found out that my mother died."

He comforts her and eventually she calms down and they both go home.

The next day, he comes home again to find her sitting on her doorstep crying.

He asks he...

For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep,garden and drive.

I think I'm being stalked.

A woman goes into labour and her husband takes her to the hospital.

As she is laying in the hospital bed, the nurse tells her of a new type of technology that allows a percentage of her pain to be passed to the father of the child. They both agree, so start on 10% to be transferred.

However, the husband says he can feel nothing, and is willing for it to be tu...

I'm a delivery person for Kohler. I often spend hours a day on doorsteps and in lobbies waiting for people to accept their deliveries.

Let that sink in.

The guys that taught me every medicine joke I know just arrived at my doorstep.

I decided to in-vitamin.

Just one kiss, please

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her doorstep. As they were about to wish each other goodnight,the guy started feeling a little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, said to her,

“Honey, would you give me a kiss?”
...

A father tucks his son in

A father goes upstairs to tuck his son into bed. As he reaches his son's door, he hears his son praying "Dear God please look after mum, dad, grandma and byebye grandad. The father thought the prayer was a little strange but nothing more. The next morning the family gets a phonecall that grandad had...

A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him.

The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house."

The priest says, "Thank you very much" and leaves.

The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.

A few days later, a ministe...

Gifted child!

My parents always said I was a gifted child. Turns out they meant someone left me on their doorstep in a box.

One night, Mrs. McMillen answered the door to see her husbands bestfriend Paddy standing on the doorstep.....

"Hello Paddy, where is my husband? He went with you to the Guinness factory."

Paddy shook his head and said "Ah Mrs. McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drown."

Mrs.McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he a...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Spot

A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress.


The problem develope...

Collecting Name Jokes

I know there are a whole bunch of these but I only remember a few, please post any you think of!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in your pool? Bob

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs...

The boy went to say his nightly prayers....

His father listened from the door as the boy said "God bless mommy, God bless Daddy, God Bless Grandma, goodbye grandpa"
The next day the family awoke to found the grandpa dead, but brushed it off as an awful coincidence.
A few days go by and the boy is saying his prayer "God bless mommy, God ...

What do you call a cow with...

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with one leg? Steak

What do you call a cow with no legs lying in a hole? Fil

What do you call a cow with no legs lying next to a hole? Dug

What d...

A priest walks into a barber’s shop and sits down.

The barber gives him a nice haircut. When the priest asks him how much the haircut will cost, the barber replies, “I never charge a man who does God’s work.”

The priest thanks him and the next day the barber finds three bottles of wine on his doorstep.

Later that day, a minister ente...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Amazing looking meals is called Food porn. Beautiful outdoor landscapes is called Nature porn...

But when I want to look up pictures of adorable kids the FBI shows up on my doorstep.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs

Floating in a lake?
Bob.

Sitting at your doorstep?
Matt.

Barber Shop

One day at a local barber shop a priest went in to get his hair cut. After he finished he asks the barber how much he owes him for the haircut. The barber politely responds with "For you, it is free of charge. Think of it as my way of giving back to my religion". The priest is very thankful and leav...

Now is the best time ever to order delivery pizza and to use that movie from Home Alone when they show up...

Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here you filthy animal!

A baby was born...

A baby was born and during its christening, mutters “God bless Mummy, god bless Daddy, god bless Grandma, goodbye Grandpa” and the next day the Grandpa suddenly dies.

A few weeks pass and the baby speaks up again, babbling “God bless Mummy, god bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma” and sure enough th...

A couple go to the hospital because the wife is heavily pregnant.

The consultant tells them , “ We have this revolutionary new treatment, we give this special injection to the mother and all the birth pain transfers from the woman to the man. Would you like to try it?”

They discuss it and the husband being a gentleman says “ Of course I would be only too ha...

This criminal invaded my house and turned my phone book upside down without me realising.

Instead of the cops there's some angry guy with a pitchfork on my doorstep.

A man DIES

He died tragically and unexpectedly in a botched robbery. Devastated, his wife Cindy mourned four several months, leaving the house only to pick up groceries that her doting mother leaves on her doorstep.

The only comfort to her grief was his cat, who is similarly distraught. After several mo...

You think you've had a bad day?

One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers "God bless Mommy, Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."

Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died.

A month later the father heard his sony saying prayers ...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

An old Italian joke..

A woman raised in a Monastery gets married. Let's call her Maria and her husband Mario.The wedding finishes and Mario and Maria are now in the bedroom.
Mario takes off his clothes and Maria being a girl raised in a monastery only with women is surprised when she sees Mario's penis. She asks him:...

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door

He opens it up and there's no-one there, but h looks down and sees a snail on the doorstep.

A bit puzzled, he picks the snail up and throws it as far as he can.

A year later there's a knock at his door. He gets up and opens it and the snail is there.

"What did you do that for?" ...

Knock knock!

Who's there?

That's me!

Who's me?

My cousin, I'm Hu?

No, who are you?

Yes I am Hu, who is me.

I thought your cousin was me?

No you are you, I am Hu and my cousin is Mi!

Look just leave the Chinese food on the doorstep and leave!

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

NSA

In some small town, there was a military base next to a small farm. The NSA got reports that the farm has been listening all the bases communications. So bunch of NSA agents show at the doorstep of the farm. One young agent goes to the farmer and tells him:

"I am from the NSA and we have repo...

A man is walking by his son's room, when he hears him praying...

...and he decides to poke his head in the door to see what he is saying.

"Dear God, I love Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa."

The father thought this was strange, but didn't pay much mind to it, as his young son was just expressing his feelings.

The next day the man...

A man rushes his pregnant wife into the delivery room

As the doctors are getting her ready to give birth, one of them informs the man that a machine that transfers some of the pain of birth from the mother to the father had been developed. They ask the man if he would want to take on some of the pain to make his wife's burden easier.

The man agr...

Dad becomes freaked out over sons ability to make people die then he gets another surprise

So a dad and his family are praying one night and his son says, “Goodnight mama goodnight daddy and goodbye Grandpa”, next day grandpa dies. The dad is a little freaked out but is convinced this was just a tragic coincidence. Next night they are praying and his son says, “Goodnight mama goodnight da...

Two ghosts were sharing stories of their deaths.

Juan asked first, "What killed you?"

"I was locked inside a fridge," Pedro said, "I was cold and trembling, then suffocated after an hour."

"That sucks man," replied Juan. "I got a heart attack and passed away."

"What happened?", asked Pedro.

"As I got...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

It was a cold Sunday...

It was a cold Sunday evening when the doorbell rang is Mrs O'Tooles house. When she answered the door, Seamus Glynn, her husbands co-worker at the brewery was stood on the doorstep.

‘Seamus, hello. Where’s my Patrick? He should have been home from work hours ago?’ The man sighed. ‘I’m sorry t...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Expat moving to Canada.

August 12,
We moved into our new house in Canada. I'm so excited. It's so nice. The mountains are beautiful. I cannot wait to see them covered with the snow.

October 14,
Canada. It is the most beautiful country in the world. Leaves turned all colors and shades of yellow and orange. I dr...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

[Request] What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

My favorite is:


"There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep.

He gives me the willies."

The detective picks up a scent of Cuban tobacco on the victim’s body.

From this, he deduces that the killer was a smoker. He also discovers a crumpled up sheet of paper that has an address scribbled out on it. This leads him to the doorsteps of an old apartment. The detective readies his gun and barges in, eager to find a clue that ties the house to the suspect. But o...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A farmer hears a knock on his door one night...

and he is surprised to see a Jew, a Muslim, and a Jehovah's Witness together on his doorstep. The farmer greets them and is wondering why such an unlikely trio of people are walking together at this time of night.

"Our cars got caught in the snow in the highway, and we can't get a signal out ...

The doorbell rings at 3 in the morning.

A man opens the door and sees a drunk guy he's never seen before on the doorstep.

"Excuse me, would you help me push?" The drunk guy asks.

"At 3 in the morning? Forget it!"

When the man goes back to bed, his wife asks, who was it.

"Oh, it was some drunk guy, who wanted m...

A man thinks his wife is getting deaf.

A man is sitting in his living room while his wife is working in the room next to it. As he gets up to prepare some coffee, he yells if she wants some too. There’s no response. “My wife seems to be losing her hearing”, he thinks.

He visits their doctor, asking for advice. “Doctor, my wife nev...

So there's this barber in a small town...

So there's this barber in a small town. One day he's sitting in his barbershop and a man walks in wearing a pair of sandals, and a long brown robe with a hood. The man sits down in the barber's chair. "Excuse me," says the barber. "I was wondering: why are you dressed like that?"
"Well," says th...

For Father's Day, my favorite Father joke.

A doctor who invents as a hobby has invented the Child Birth Pain Transfer Machine (CBPTM), which allows the transfer of the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father at varying degrees.

A couple walks in, and the wife is in labor. They agree to hook her up to the machine, and the doct...

A man is sitting on his couch watching TV...

...when he hears the doorbell ring.

He opens the door, and sees a snail on the doorstep.

"What do you want?" says the man.

"Sir, I am wondering whether you may be interested in some new roller shutters for your home."

The man, furious at being constantly harassed by sales...

When in doubt ...

Wife : I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman we both know.... What to do?

Shrink: Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically.

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Little Johnny asks his teacher

"When I get married how will my wife give birth to a baby?
"An Angel will show up at your doorstep and give it your wife."
Little Johnny looks confused and says "So who do I fuck the Angel or wife?"

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

So a lonely, used, abused, beaten down woman places a personal ad in the newspaper...

She writes that she desires a man who won't use her for her money, beat her to a bloody pulp and won't walk out on her leaving her an emotional wreck of shambles. She also states that this man ought to satisfy her sexually and fuck her like no other man has.

Well days go by and no one respond...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Some guy knocked on my door wanting to tell me the great news about our Lord.

I said "fuck off, i dont beleave in of that shit."


As I tried to close the door in his face, he grabbed my arm and twisted it up my back slamming my face into the wall, then with a single rabbit punch broke 3 of my ribs, he then kung fu kicked my leg shattering the bone in three places.<...

John was looking for a good house repairing company, with an affordable price

A friend tells him, "I heard there's this one company that does free repairs if it's your first time using their service!"

John replies, "That's amazing! I'll have them over here immediately."

A few hours later, the repairman arrives.

John greets them at his doorstep, and asks, ...

A woman takes out an add in the newspaper reading....

"Wanted, a man who won't hit me, who won't ever run away from me, and is great in the sack!"

A week later she hears her doorbell but doesn't see anyone when she opens the door. Just as she's about to close it she hears a guy say
"Hey, down here."

She looks down to see a man with no...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

The autonomous hungarian

Somewhere in Transylvania, Romania.

Hungarian ethnic Istvan marries a romanian woman. His dad gives him the last advices for the wedding night:

- ''Istvan, my son, when you get back home take her in your arms and carry her over the doorstep, so she'll see hungarians are strong. Then yo...

A man owned a sentient calculator

He would show it to people all the time, and tell them about the sentient calculator. He'd ask a question, and the calculator would give the answer, and every time it was the correct one. At first, people were excited, and they would demand to know what the trick was. A lot of theories, ranging from...

NY Plumber

A lady in NY had a parrot and all it could say was “Who is it?” On day her house plumbing started to leak so she called a plumber and scheduled a service call. At the scheduled time for the plumber she got called away for an emergency. When the plumber arrived, he was an older man, he knocked on t...

The surgeon and his wife.

Heard this in the OR today during surgery.

A middle aged surgeon and his wife are walking along a sandy beach, when they notice a brass lamp protruding from then ground.
The wife picks it up and a genie immediately spouts forth from the lamp. "You each may have 3 wishes", the genie says....

Old Women Bragging About Their Sons

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much a...

Once there was a dragon slayer named Nick.....

Nick was a wealthy man, due to the fact that there were many dragons around the kingdom that required killing. The king of the land used to pay a great price for every dragon killed. But Nick had a deep secret, he had a massive desire to sleep with the queen, even if it was just for a night.
One...

cheater husband

Woman to the priest, ' I doubt that my husband has been cheating on me... I have doubt on one woman. what should I do?'

Priest replied, 'Take your husband to that woman's doorsteps... and check if WiFi connects automatically'

A woman goes into labor at the hospital

The husband asks if there is anything he can do to help ease the process for his wife.

The doctor says "there is an experimental process that allows the father to endure various levels of the pain of childbirth. It's new and untested, but it's all you can do."

"I'll do it. Anything t...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Cake day

Every morning, at precisely 7:00 AM, my neighbor knocks upon my door, looking to borrow some milk. And every morning, I cheerfully greet him and oblige. At the end of the week my neighbor brings me a new bottle of milk to replace the milk he has consumed. Then for the next week, I give him milk f...

A rite of passage

Meet James and Sasha, both 23, in a serious relationship and madly in love. James is worried about children, as he knows there is an honourable history of dad jokes in his family, and he is not sure he can live up to these great expectations. One night, whilst doing the deed, the condom breaks. They...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A man sitting at a bar orders a bottle of whiskey

He then starts taking long sips from the bottle until it's empty. An hour later he decides he's too drunk and he needs to go back home to his wife. He makes an attempt to stand up but fails miserably, throwing himself on the floor.

The bartender helps him back on his chair and tells him to wa...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Costume Party

A few years back I threw a costume party at my house. It was really fun to see all my friends dressed up silly. There was a cowboy, a gorilla, a nurse, a bum, you know, all the standard outfits one would expect. Everyone was having a great time when the doorbell rang, I went to the door and opened i...

Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch

Two friends, Mick and Dave, are having lunch over at Dave’s house when the conversation turns to postal delivery workers.


Dave, disgruntled about the subject, says “I order a lot of books to get delivered here daily, but I always get a slip saying that they missed me, even if I’m home to ...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A local man wins the lottery.

After he’s cashed in his winnings he’s overwhelmed with joy, gratitude, and serenity. He wants to give back to his community and he thinks that everyone should get in on the feels. He decides to throw a grand party at his new mansion where anyone in town can come to eat and drink for free as long as...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Twas the week before Christmas

‘Twas the Week before Christmas
by Canttake Itany Moore

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the city

The virus still raged. The year was still shitty.

The cars sat snuggly, all still in the street.

There was no place to go. No friends to meet.

Restau...

Wife is going into labor

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labour.
As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father.
They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine.
The doctor s...

A bunch of groan-worthy one-liners

- Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Something's fishy about this."

- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh ...

A doctors invention

A woman is about to go into labor and as it is usually painful the doctor gives her an option. He says "I have an invention that when hooked up will transfer a percentage of your pain to the father of the child". The soon to be mother thinks this is a great idea and the husband agrees to help allevi...

A man goes into his son's room

to wish him Goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Susie dies. One week later...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A boy is in the car with his dad driving

Behind them is a police car which begins to flash its lights.

“Oh you shithead” says the dad in annoyance.

But it turns out the police car was signalling someone else and its was fine.

“Daddy” the boy says “what does shithead mean?”

Chuckling, the dad replies “I was on ...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A New York writer is tired of all the people and noise of the big city

He believes that a quiet place will help him focus so that he can finish his novel. The man moves to an island in Northern Europe with pasture as far as the eye can see and no other houses for miles. After a year of writing he starts to feel lonely. Then, he hears a booming knock on his door. When h...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A daughter’s prayers

A father is listening to his daughter say her night time prayers.

"God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless grandma, goodbye grandpa."

The father thinks "huh, wierd" and goes to bed thinking nothing of it. the next day he receives a phone call that his father has died. Slightly cree...

Lost in the Desert

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks.
One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep.
The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health.
Feeling better, the man asks the...

Well, that was not good..

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth, and the
doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd
like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of
childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the>mother's
burden.<...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

A man his putting his daughter to bed one night

Before she goes to sleep, she begins to say her prayers. She starts and says "Goodnight Mum, goodnight dad, goodnight grandpa, goodbye grandma." The man is startled for a second and asks his daughter, "Why did you say goodbye to grandma but goodnight to the rest of us?" She then shrugs and replies "...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Nelson Mandela amd the delivery guu

One day Nelson Mandela is at home chilling out max and relaxing all cool when there is a knock at the door. Nelson gets up and answers the door to find a little Japanese guy on his doorstep with a great big car transporter full of brand new cars parked on his drive. As soon as the door opens the Jap...

Military ranks

GENERAL:
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water amid typhoons, gives policy to God.

COLONEL:
Leaps short buildings with a single bound, is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a spe...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

One sultry Sunday afternoon in Rome

On one sultry Sunday afternoon in Rome, there was a beautiful young nun walking back home after the service in the church. The priest who was driving back home in his wagon spots the poor nun walking home in the sweltering heat. Being the gentleman that he was and a servant of the Lord, he stops by ...

Stephen King's Sons

When Stephen King’s twin sons were born, he had a hard time coming up with names for them. Finally, after several hours of thinking, he managed to pull a couple out of the air.

“I’ll name the first son Joseph, after my great-grandfather.”“Fine, and what about the other one?” His wife asked....

One evening...

...a father passed his daughter’s bedroom and heard her saying her prayers. Smiling to himself, he stopped to listen and heard her say, “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandpa, bye bye Grandma.” How odd, thought father, but he didn’t want his daughter to know he’d been listening so he d...

The weight loss program

A man wants to lose his beer belly, so he signs up for a free weight loss program he read about online.

On the first day, he hears a knock at his door. He answers it, and sees an extremely attractive woman standing there.

"If you catch me, you get to keep me," says the woman.

So...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

What makes you think you're so good in bed?

A woman is in a relationship with an abusive man, but for years she justifies staying with him because he is great in bed. Until one day the man hits her and kicks her to the point where he crosses her line. She finally dumps him and tries to move on.

Being out of the dating game for a wh...

A pair of newlyweds go golfing...

A pair of young newlyweds decide to go golfing at an upscale resort. They get up early Sunday morning, load up their clubs, and drive the hour and half to the remote location. On the first tee, they are astounded to see multi-million dollar homes lining the course, the rising sun catching stained pl...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

The Harley Davidson (NSFW)

There's this man, let's call him Greg, who has wanted a 1979 Harley Davidson Ironhead 1000 Kickstart his whole life. (It's rare, about 160 made.) After getting engaged to the love of his life, he decides to find one. After some searching, he finds one for only $500. Immediately, he calls the owner ...

This joke may contain profanity. đŸ€”

Traveling grandpa

A grandson once asks his grandpa:
- Grandpa, you always traveled so much. What place would you recommend me to travel to?
- Russia.
- What? Why Russia?
- Listen, it's awesome there. You walk into a store, you take whatever you want, and you don't have to pay. You walk down the st...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.