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Shoutout Jokes

Shoutout to my grandpa

That's the only way he can hear

Shoutout to the Ampersand

for both increasing & decreasing the length of the word "and".

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

Shoutout to anyone

Who doesn't know the opposite of in.

I want to give a shoutout to the sidewalk

For keeping me off the street.

Nobody will upvote a cake joke in my birthday

I feel desserted

Edit: oh wow, this was my first time karma whoring on my cake day and I honestly wasn’t expecting this much attention. Thank you for all the awards and sorry if I didn’t respond to all the messages.

Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost his joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Modern Medicine (Shoutout Norm)

My wife recently went into a coma. I asked the doctor if there was anything we could do to wake her up.
He said, "There is one way. An ancient method. You must have oral sex with her."
I say, "Doc, I don't know if I'm comfortable performing oral sex with her unconscious body."
And he say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shoutout to Hitler’s speech proofreader

The original Grammar Nazi

Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of ‘many’.

It means a lot!

Shoutout to the people

who are blocking the exit

Just want to give a shoutout to my church for finally getting through to me and making me a firm believer.

In atheism.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First saw this on r/ask reddit shoutout to Hadwell

Baseball is totally wrong! A man with 4 balls can't walk!

Shoutout to all the women who are classy and don’t need to dress half naked to impress a man…

… the rest of you come with me

Shoutout to the homeless...

...for making change in todays messed up society

Shoutout to Amy Winehouse

She's been drug free for 5 years now

Big shoutout to my great grandmother

She can't hear me otherwise

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shoutout to rattlesnakes and condoms...

Because I don't fuck with either of them.

Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds

I have my first shift on Monday.

I want to give a big shoutout to the priest who helped jump-start my Kia the other day...

...he saved my Soul.

Shoutout to the ex-mobster who, through witness protection, was relocated in a house under the sea.

Rest easy, you’re sleeping with the fishes now.

Nobody will upvote a cake joke on my cake day.

I feel desserted


Shoutout to u/sse2k for “letting” me repost this joke.

I just gave my gf the best 1hr 30 secs of her life

Shoutout to daylight saving time

Bill Gates recently split up with Melinda Gates, who will take half of his belongings, including Microsoft office.

But she will only get Microsoft Excel and Powerpoint, because he always keeps his Word.



shoutout u/Duttywood

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

The outlaws are wanted

*shoutout to the customer that called in and ended the phone call with a joke to spread some cheer*

I was on a flight a few weeks ago, and our descent was very turbulent, followed by a hard landing that was quite jarring.

Once on the ground, our flight attendant announced, "Well, folks, that wasn't my fault, and it wasn't the captain's fault, but it was definitely the as-phalt."

The passenger reactions were a mix of chuckles and groans.

Shoutout to our Southwest Airlines flight crew from BUR-LAS flight ...

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus

Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner

My wife and I had our first baby last night.

It was really tender, but you've gotta watch out for all the little bones.

Why did the rapper scream into his Easter basket?

He wanted to give a shoutout to his peeps

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