What do wives and shingles have in common?

if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied: “Shingles.”

So she wrote down his name, address and phone number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse came out and asked the man what he had. The man said: “Shingles!"

So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room....

Who do dogs call to fix the shingles on their dog house?

Woofers

What rash is commonly found on houses?

Shingles.

What does a fat girl and a pallet of shingles have in common?

...they both have a 90% chance of being nailed by a Mexican.

I know it’s frustrating waiting for your COVID shot...

But just think of all the roofers who haven’t got the Shingles vaccine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Google really does spy on us

This is why I don't trust smartphones. My friend and I were talking about repairing his roof over the next week, because the recent storm took off a few portions. The next day I saw advertisements all over Facebook telling me there are hot shingles in my area looking to get nailed.

What do roofers and computers have in common?

Hot shingles in your area.

A man returns from an exotic holiday and is feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo some tests.


The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor. We have the results back from your tests and we have found you have an extr...

Pierre the French Canadian got a job roofing

He was taking 100 lb bundles of shingles up the ladder to the roof. On his way up, the roofer slipped and pushed a bundle down on him. It clipped the side of his head, slicing off his ear. Everyone on the job site helped him look for his ear on the ground. One guy finally hollered “found it”. Pierre...

I got a pop up ad for a locally owned Sean Connery roofing supply company

It said, “shingles in your area”.

"Grandpa caught a virus yesterday while browsing the web at the nursing home.."

".. apparently there were hot shingles in his area."

Somebody must have roofied my drink last night.

I woke up at 4:00 this morning with an irresistible urge to go hammer some shingles.

What do you use to build a roof out of cheese?

Kraft Shingles

Last month I unknowingly purchased stolen roofing supplies. I wrote a Craigslist post to alert others...

HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA

If you're looking for a relationship, become a roofer.

You're bound to find hot shingles in your area

Why are roofers always irritated.

Because they have to deal with shingles all the time.

Elon's opening speech for the Tesla Solar Roof really got my attention...

Who knew there were thousands of hot shingles in my area?

Why can't a Roof get Chickenpox?

It already has the shingles.

Only 2010's kids will get this.

Polio and shingles.

TIL: Roofing in the Summer heat can be dangerous

WARNING: HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA

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