This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told to me by an immigrant friend who was a Drill Sargent in the Russian army in the '80s

A Sargent and a Private are walking across a Soviet army base when they approach a General coming the other way. The enlisted men salute and the Sargent calls out:

"Sir, your top shirt button is unbuttoned!" (A serious faux pas, according to my friend).

The General is in no mood for it...

What do a drill Sargent and a pediatrician have in common?

Little patients.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why wasn't Samantha upset about York changing to Sargent?

I guess she was just happy getting new Dick.

*sees my way out*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The retired Sargent goes in for his physical...

The doctor says, "You look pretty fit. You stay active, but I need to ask about your sex life. When was the last time you had sex?"
After thinking for a second... "2010." the Sargent says.
The doctor is flabberghasted. "2010?" He sputters.
"Well," says the sargent, looking at his watch, "si...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Basic training

A man joins the parachute regiment. After basic training he goes home to tell his dad about it.

“How did it go son?”

“Great up to the last exercise. We had to do a real jump with full kit. We were at 9,000 ft and I was the last to jump. When I got to the door I froze. The drill Sargen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you jump?

Dad putting his son to bed and son asks,
Son: “Dad, when you were in the Army did you ever jump out of an airplane?”
Dad: “well son, let me tell you about it.” “There we were at 10,000 ft, they opened the door and ordered all of us recruits out. Son, I walked up to the door, looked down and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Being late in war is a bad thing

So this guy joins the army, is always the last one for everything. Gets to the armory for his rifle and they tell him they ran out, the guy hands him a broomstick and the private asks “what am I going to do with this?” Gunny looks at him and says “just say bang bang bang every time you shoot”.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: My first day in the Navy

So shortly after joining the Navy I was posted to a boat that was about to begin a 6 month sail around the world.
Being new to the boat I was given a tour of the boat by an older Sargent.

Near the end of the tour he shows me this giant barrel which has a hole cut in it.

"What is...

A BRUNETTE A RED HEAD AND A BLONDE WERE IN ...

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out.

The girls broke out and the brunette said,
"Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us."
So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, "Come o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How about a military joke?

It's time for boot camp inspection and all the Privates line up. While inspecting the rifles the Drill Sargent examines one of the lazier Privates rifle a little more closely and shouts **Private! This magazine is dirty! Clean it again!** So the Private cleans it again.
Next time inspection...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not racist but this is one my brother told me

Why were most black soldiers killed in Vietnam?

Because when the Sargent yelled "everybody get down!" All the black people started dancing.

Alright I'm done.

A Drill Instructor was training a group of new Lieutenants

He gives them the problem of how to raise a flag pole and asks each, in turn, how he would organize the work.

The first Lieutenant says he would have the men dig a hole, slide the poll in and tamp down the earth around it.

The next Lieutenant says much the same except he throws in a fe...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.