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Cecil Jokes

The Cowardly Lion, Aslan, and Cecil are having drinks at a bar ...

They all look worn out so the bartender asks them why they look so beat.

The Cowardly Lion goes first and says, "Man, you have no idea what I went through just to get courage."

Aslan then chimes in quickly after that and says, "Nonsense, you have no idea what I went through just to get...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pickup line of Cecil the cavalier

Cecil is a young British aristocrat who loves horse-riding but is terribly shy.

On his daily trot around Hyde Park, he frequently sees a beautiful girl riding a jet-black Morgan horse but can’t pluck up the courage to approach her.

One evening he’s having a beer with his friend Charles...

Harambe and Cecil the Lion walk into a bar

Bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

They respond, "Two shots, please."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's 1956 and iconic film director Cecil B. DeMille isgetting ready to shoot the most expensive scene ever filmed: the parting of the Red Sea in his movie "The Ten Commandments."

The scene required 2200 extras and 800 animals and could be shot only once. So DeMille arranged for one not, not two, not even three cameras but four camera/cameraman set-ups surrounding the scene.

Everything's in place. DeMille shouts, "Cameras! Action!" and the scene unfolds. The moment it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy goes hunting with grandpa

Young Billy was walking down the sidewalk when he passed his Grandpa Cecil's house. Grandpa Cecil noticed that Billy was carrying something in his arms.

"Hey, Billy. What's that you have in your arm?"

"It's chicken wire. I'm going to catch some chickens with it."

Convinced that ...

I have a list of friends who love palindromes!

Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, De...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] There's two fellas way out in the woods in Virginia...

The name of one is Cecil. It's not important what the other one's name is.

They're bored, just trying to kill time while they whittle.

The more talkative fella, he says to Cecil, "Have you ever heard of the game 20 questions?" And Cecil says, "Nope."

"Well, the way you play i...

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear zippers.

-- shamelessly stolen from Cecil Adams

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Why did the Mormon cross the aisle?

To get to the other bride!

Why did the surfer cross the beach?

To get to the other tide!

Why did the lion cross the savannah?

cuz there's a FUCKING DENTIST WITH A BOW AND ARROW, RUN CECIL RUN!!

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