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Ryanair Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beautiful woman

A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport.

A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him.

He presumes, because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for ...

Two Ryanair pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.

Two Ryanair pilots, Murphy and Seamus, are flying a Ryanair Ltd. jet on its final approach at Cork Airport.

Murphy says: “BuayJesus! Maury an' Josefff! Look how short this runway is.”

Seamus replies: “Yes, but look how fookin' wide it is!”

With Ryanair, the price of your Flight Ticket does not include baggage or meals.

Now it doesn't even include your flight!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy phones Ryanair to book a flight:

Operator asks, "How many people are flying with you?

Paddy replies, "How the fuck do I know?, It's your plane!

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel bar...

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness.

The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"Well,...

A man is sat in an airport bar, having a drink, waiting for his flight to be called...

As he is sitting there a stunning woman walks into the bar and sits on the bar-stool next to him. She's wearing a very smart uniform and the guy thinks "She must work for one of the top airlines".

He decides to find out which one by running some of their advertising slogans past her.

T...

The CEO of Ryanair, walks into a pub...

Michael O'Leary, the CEO of Ryanair, walks into a pub.
The he says to the bartender "Can I have a pint of beer?"
The bartender says "Certainly, that'll be €0.50"
He responds with "50 cents? That's wonderfully cheap!"
But then the bartender tells him "And it'll be €1 for the glass, €3 if ...

What are the chances of my Ryanair flight being cancelled this Christmas?

Sky high.



\- I hate myself too

Dear Belarusian President Lukashenko

my mother-in-law is taking the next Ryanair flight number 1268 from Paris to Moscow and will be flying over your territory at around 8pm. I distinctly heard her criticising your regime this Sunday at the dinner table. You are welcome.


Ps: not my joke, translated from french

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes to the bar at the airport before his plane departs when a beautiful young woman sits at the bar beside him..

She is wearing a uniform and he reckons she's obviously an air steward.. He nods at her and says the Qantas slogan "you're the reason we fly" and winks at her.. She ignores him ... "hmm, not Qantas" he thinks, so he tries "Fly the friendly skies"? .. no reaction "OK, it's not United Airlines either"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

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