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Rimshot Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a rimshot and a rimjob?

One goes *ba dum tiss*, the other is da bum kiss.

How did the hipster burn his fingertips?

He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool.


[rimshot]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear?

White vans.

*rimshot*

In and Out

Once upon a time there were two little skunks named "In" and "Out." They lived in a hollow tree with their mother. Sometime In and Out played outside,but other times they played inside. One day In was out and Out was in. Mother skunk told Out to go out and bring In in. So Out went out and in a few ...

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an agnostic, and an insomniac?

Someone who lies awake wondering if there really is a dog. \*rimshot\*

Why did the rooster go to KFC?

To see a chicken strip!

(Anyone else hear a rimshot?)

Looks like Erdogan had to quit...

...cold Turkey. [](/rimshot)

I told this gamer chick...

You wanna experience the fastest data transfer rate known to man?

She was very excited until I unzipped my pants.

:rimshot:

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another guy speeding joke.

A guy is in a rush to get to work, and he driving quickly.

He crosses over a bridge, and get's tagged by a cop and pulled over.

The cop slowly walks up to the car and asks for license and registration.

After they check out the cop returns and says, "Do you know why I pulled you...

What's the quickest way to get to the airport?

Terminal Velocity.

[:D](http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true)

Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff...

[www.instantrimshot.com](http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made up a shit 'Dad Joke'

I was talking to my friend the other day, he's a lawyer and was complaining about the current trial he was involved in.
Me: "What is it about?"
Lawyer: "The accused used a leather satchel to beat another man to death"
Me: "Oh, do you expect it to go on much longer?"
Lawyer: "No, it's a b...

One day co-workers Alice and Bob were talking over the water cooler. Soon the conversation turned to Alice's husband Walter and his plans for the future.

"He's up for a promotion, but he's kinda screwed. He'd be moving up from the mail room to a position with some management responsibilities, but he never actually graduated college and that's usually a requirement. They like him though, so there's just one course he has to take and get a good grade i...

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