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Retrievers Jokes

Why are Golden Retrievers so smart?

Because they always *get* things :D

I tried to breed a Golden Retriever with a Rottweiler.

I ended up with a litter of rotten retrievers.

Be careful about teaching lab retrievers to play fetch.

He almost blew us both up with a meth bomb.

Husband eats dog food

A married lady goes to her doctor for her annual checkup and everything is good. In her conversation at the end of all the tests and examination with the doctor she expressed a concern about her husband.

"As you know I raise champion golden retrievers and one evening I was making thier foo...

What dog breed always arrives in 2nd place?

Silver retrievers.

Three guys are walking their dogs and they see a bar

"I could really go for a drink," says the first guy. The two other guys agree, but as they get closer to the bar they see that there are no dogs allowed inside.

"I guess we can't go in, as there is nowhere to tie up our dogs," the second guy says.

"That's where you're wrong," the first...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks up to a bar with his chihuahua and sees a sign that says ‘no dogs allowed’

He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks inside with his dog.

Bartender: Sorry man, you can’t bring your dog in here.

Guy: But he’s my seeing-eye dog.

Bartender: Ah come on, seeing-eye dogs are always Labradors or golden retrievers!

Guy: Wait what? WELL WHAT THE FUCK HA...

It is really sad what is happening to the local businesses around our town.

The bra manufacturer has gone bust;
the specialist in submersibles has gone under;
the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation;
a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers;
the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded;
the Heinz factory has be...

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