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Dalmatian Jokes

Yesterday I spotted an albino dalmatian.

It was the least I could do for the guy.

Why are dalmatians such good actors?

They are always in the SPOT light!

Two friends are walking their dogs, a Dalmatian and a Chihuahua, when they smell something delicious coming from a nearby restaurant.

The guy with the Dalmatian says, “Let’s get something to eat.”

But the guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there, we have dogs with us.”

So the first guy says, “Just follow my lead.” He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks into the restaurant.

“Sorry,” says the owne...

Why shouldn’t you take advice from a Dalmatian?

Because it’s spotty at best.

Why don't Dalmatians like to take baths?

Because they don't like to be spotless.

I just bought a Dalmatian puppy...

And I've found out that if you join all the dots together with a marker pen...

It doesn't wash off...

There's nowhere a Dalmatian can hide.

'Cause they're spotted all over!

I can’t remember if I had a Dalmatian or leopard when I was a kid.

Either way, my memory of my pet is kinda spotty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Dalmatian that’s British and rude?

A spotted dick.

The Grandfather and the Dalmatian

A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.

"No," said anothe...

Today I spotted an albino dalmatian.

Just wanted to help him not feel so left out anymore.

What do you call a Dalmatian thief with a headache?

Cruella Ad Vil



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...so sorry everyone this is dumb but it just came to me and I had to put it out there.

I love dalmatian puppies, but the only pups in my neighborhood are all white.

I spotted one this morning.

My dalmatian got away from me and ran through a car wash.

Now he's spotless.

Believe it or not, I’ve never seen 101 Dalmatians.

Only a dozen at most.

I was once friends with an albino Dalmatian

He was tired of being made fun of for being completely white, so he decided to get small round tattoos inked all over his body. He was just $20 short.


I told him, “Don’t worry Dog, I’ll spot you.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 101 Dalmatians there were 99 problems and bitches were approximately half of them

This got banned from Showerthoughts for being a pun, and I knew you guys liked puns so here we are!

As a kid, I connected all the dots on our Dalmatian.

Remarkably, it was a dog.

An Irish Setter, a Dalmatian, and a Beagle were talking

The Irish Setter says to the Beagle: "I am excited for the party next weekend."
The Dalmatian says: "Me too."
The Beagle says to the Setter and the Dalmatian: "You guys weren't invited."
The Irish Setter and the Dalmatian both say: "What? Why not?"
The Beagle says: "Probably because you ...

Who wins in a fight between a totally white Dalmatian and a Bear???????

The Dalmatian of course. The Bear wouldn't be able to spot it.

Why do fire departments have dalmatians?

To help the firemen find the hydrants

Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.

Heather says, "I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I'm pregnant with triplets!"

"I got mine done yesterday too," says Linda. "I'm pregnant with septuplets!"

"I think I'll get my ultrasound done next week," says Martha.

The three women chat some more. Finally, Heather says, "I go...

What’s black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and

white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and ...

Paddy

"Would you like to buy my dog?" Mick : "What kind is it?" Paddy: "It's a Dalmatian." Mick : "Is it clean?" Paddy: "Spotless."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenge: Change one letter in a move title to create a whole new blockbuster

Examples:

Pooper: BRUCE WILLIS finds out the hard way just how dangerous time travel can be.

Tar Trek: WILLIAM SHATNER's quest to go where no man has gone before to make Canada a major oil producer.

Gone with the Wine: Nicholas Cage drinks himself to death in the old south.
<...

Asked the Priest for forgiveness because I ate a dog today.

He said I would suffer eternal dalmatian.

My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?

A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.

Three friends at the bar...

- The first: "You know... my wife wants two children after seeing Hansel and Gretel"
- The second: "My wife instead wants seven children after seeing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
- The third: "Umh I have to go, my wife is watching 101 Dalmatians".

After my breakup I moved into a new place and bought a dalmatian. Every day I took that dog for a walk past our old place and, day after day, I trained him to pee in her flowerbed and take a dump on her lawn. . .

It was a classic case of Spot Marks the Ex!

How the grandkids view us old folks (Long)

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lips...

What did the cow say when she saw the Dalmatian?

Dam... I got to get in shape!

What's White with Black Spots?

A Dalmatian.

What's black with white spots?

A plantation.

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