My hair is receding at my temples, making my hairline look like the flap of an envelope.

Goddamn mail pattern baldness...

What's worse than a receding hairline?

An advancing hairline

The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....

There's going to be hell toupee

What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Whats it called when a king and queen have no children?

A receding heir line

What do you call an airplane full of bald people?

Receding airlines...

My pet rock has a receding hairline

He’s a little boulder

My friend keeps thinking that he has a receding hairline

I told him it's all in his head

One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline...

We go way back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare-line.

Hat tip to whoever posted the previous hair-themed rabbit joke.

What do you call four hundred french rabbits turning around and running away from a fight?

A receding hare line.

Did you hear about the bald guy who cracked his skull?

Doctor said he had a receding hairline fracture.

What did the Allied forces call the German army as it retreated at the end of WWII?

A receding herr line

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...

I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hannibal Lecter escapes his prison, and begins a cannibalistic killing spree.

Bodies turn up all over the city, mutilated and butchered like livestock. The livers are missing from the bodies, as is muscle from the shoulders, legs and back, the tongues, a variety of human flesh all carved out and eaten by Lecter after killing his victims.

Not only that, but he escapes t...

I’m going to tattoo a row of rabbits running away on the top of my head.

That way if I go bald everyone can see my receding hare line.

Arthur and Friends

The members of King Arthur's Round Table were always tired because they were on the knight shift.

But they did like to party. One day after a boisterous gathering, the purest knight of all kept asking everyone who was awake, "Did you see the gal I had?

When did King Arthurs men pract...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alternate meanings

From The Washington Post

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.


3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanati...

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