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What's worse than a receding hairline?

An advancing hairline

The devil has started to get really self conscious about his receding hairline and is planning to take out his anger on the humans if he cant find a solution.....

There's going to be hell toupee

What do you call a hundred rabbits hopping backwards in a queue?

A receding hairline

My pet rock has a receding hairline

He’s a little boulder

My friend keeps thinking that he has a receding hairline

I told him it's all in his head

Heavy Petting Zoo

Wife comes home to hearing disturbing squealing noises from the upstairs bedroom. She hesitates for a minute as her mind jumps to the very worst horrific possibility of her already shattered excuse of a marriage; then proceeds to venture up the stairs closer and closer to the sloppy wet splashing an...

Did you hear about the new flight company I'm starting exclusively for bald people?

Receding Airlines

One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline...

We go way back.

Whats it called when a king and queen have no children?

A receding heir line

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

What do you call four hundred french rabbits turning around and running away from a fight?

A receding hare line.

What did the Allied forces call the German army as it retreated at the end of WWII?

A receding herr line

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hannibal Lecter escapes his prison, and begins a cannibalistic killing spree.

Bodies turn up all over the city, mutilated and butchered like livestock. The livers are missing from the bodies, as is muscle from the shoulders, legs and back, the tongues, a variety of human flesh all carved out and eaten by Lecter after killing his victims.

Not only that, but he escapes t...

Did you hear about the bald guy who cracked his skull?

Doctor said he had a receding hairline fracture.

I’m going to tattoo a row of rabbits running away on the top of my head.

That way if I go bald everyone can see my receding hare line.

Arthur and Friends

The members of King Arthur's Round Table were always tired because they were on the knight shift.

But they did like to party. One day after a boisterous gathering, the purest knight of all kept asking everyone who was awake, "Did you see the gal I had?

When did King Arthurs men pract...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Alternate meanings

From The Washington Post

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.


3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanati...

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