If Friedrich Nietzsche had been a Rastafarian,

Would he have had existential dreads?

What do you call a Rastafarian proctologist?

A Pokemon

What haircut do rastafarian robots have?

Droidlocks

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A nun and a rastafarian sit down on a bus

The Rastafarian asks the nun if she’ll go on a date with him and then go back to his place. The nun is disgusted and tells him she sworn to only the lord and leaves

The bus driver tell the Rastafarian that that every night she goes to pray in the church courtyard and could find her there.
...

Where does a Rastafarian save his pictures?

In DA BUMBACLOUD

Where did the dyslexic Rastafarian go on holiday?

Yeman

Why are Rastafarians afraid to secure their houses at night?

Because they dread locks.

Why did the Rastafarian refuse to cut his hair for ten years?

He was dreading it.

What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian?

Jah Bless.

A Rabbi, a Rastafarian and 2 Chainz walk into a bar.

Robin Williams whispers, "Jew. Mon. G."

Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies

"Ya right, mon, you in denial"

Why didn’t the Rastafarian get a haircut?

He was dreading it

What if a group of knights became Rastafarian?

They would be knights of the highest order!

What do you call a Semitic Rastafarian Gangster?

Jew-Mon-G

I always hate going to my Rastafarian friends house

its dreadful

What do you call a hot tub full of rastafarians

Jah-cuzzie

Does anyone have a Rastafarian wig?

We have crazy hair day at work tomorrow and I'm dreading it.

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A summary of the world's religions

Catholicism: Shit happens.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius says "Shit happens"
Rastafarianism: Let's roll up this shit and smoke...

What is a Rastafarian's favorite country?

Yemen

Why did the Rastafarian change his hair style?

Because it was dreadful.

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A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

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To propose to his girlfriend Wendy, Bill tattooed her name on his...

Penis. Unfortunately, when he was soft, only the 'W' and 'Y' were visible. Nonetheless, the proposal went well when he whipped it out for her, and Wendy accepted happily.

Not long after the proposal, they married and went on a Jamaican honeymoon. At the airport, Bill had to stop and take ...

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Religious Shit

Taoism: Shit happens.

Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.

Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.

Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

Hinduism: This shit happened befo...

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Some Religious Truths

TAOISM: Shit happens

ZEN BUDDHISM: What is the sound of shit happening?

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else

ATHEISTS: Shit happens for no apparent reason

HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens/ Shit happens/ Happens, happens/ Shit happens

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say...

A Jamaican walks into a bank with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier

A Jamaican walks into a bank with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier… Shocked, the cashier asks..’What’s this for?’ The Rastafarian replies..’Me here to open a joint account’

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Alternate meanings

From The Washington Post

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.


3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanati...

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