Nz Jokes - 10 Hilarious Nz Jokes

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Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.

Edit: WTF is wrong with you people?
I know dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old but, 2 shiny bottle caps?? NO!! Send that money to the protesters, or groups helping them, in Hong Kong.

Edit 2:
Add edit to first comment.
Also he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic NZ joke.

An Australian gets off the plane after touching down in New Zealand, first thing he sees is a Kiwi absolutely ramming a sheep up the arse.

Disgusted, the Australian tries to offer some advice, "Mate, where I'm from, we shear our sheep."

The kiwi bleats back, "Shear my sheep?! I ain't s...

An Australian ventriloquist visits NZ

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks
into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid...

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Three sisters were all getting married within a short time period...

...Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started and made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on their first impressions of marital sex.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.

The card said nothing but: ...

NZ joke for you

There was a man out tramping the Milford track.
He got horribly lost and went for a week without food by the 8th day he came across a kiwi and decided to cook and eat it. Half way through his meal a D.O.C ( department of conservation ) ranger found him, outraged he took him to court.

The ...

Why are all the good Genetic Scientists from NZ?

They've been mixing human and sheep DNA for centuries

What did the New Zealand statue say to the other NZ statue?

'Stat chu bro?

How does Manuka honey become a cop in NZ?

Because it cuts out to be a propolis

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Newly married NZ man

A guy from New Zealand got married and upon return from his honeymoon his brother asks "How did it go?"

The groom says "It was awesome fun and I tell you, from the way that chick was acting I reckon I could've fucked her."

Waiting for the US election results is giving me the same nerves as the NZ election the other week did

That would be no nerves, I’m British.

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