What do you call Filipino contortionist?

A Manila folder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just met the most arrogant contortionist ever!

He was so far up his own arse!

The circus near my house started a competition to find the best contortionist

So I entered myself, and won.

My girlfriend is a professional contortionist.

Now she really loves her job and most of the time she comes home with a big smile on face.
However yesterday was really rough on her and so this morning I asked if she'd gotten everything straightened out.

She said "I have knot."

My grandfather used to earn a living as a contortionist

But lately he's struggling to make ends meet.

How many contortionists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but they prefer the spiral kind.

So, I told that contortionist that I didn't care much for his act.

...And he gets all bent out of shape about it.

Why did the pickle stop being a contortionist?

It was to cucumbersome.

An acrobat and a contortionist are talking

The acrobat says to the contortionist, "Lately my boss has had me jumping through hoops to please customers". "I know how you feel" replies the contortionist. "I have to bend over backwards to get my job done"

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Hurricane Gussy (NSFW?)

A man enters a brothel and tells the madam he's looking for something new and exciting.

The madam says "Well, we have one girl who is a contortionist."

The man says "No, that's too ordinary."

The madam thinks for a moment and says "What about a Hurricane Gussy? Have you ever ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Memory of Ronnie Corbett

Here's some of his best jokes

- A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.

- We will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.

- A man was maro...

A friend emailed me this joke. I hope it's not a recent repost! A travelling salesman is visiting a small town in southern Georgia, when...

...he spots a flyer on a telephone pole advertising a circus and carnival held by the locals for charity. But what REALLY catches his eye was the extra-large-type proclaiming:
“Don’t Miss the Amazing Perfesser!”

Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts.. animals, cl...

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