I'm really worried about my brother's kleptomania condition.

I wish he'd take something for it.

A Jewish woman, Mrs. Babs Goldstein, has a problem with kleptomania.

She is brought before the court for stealing. The magistrate asks her, "So, what did you steal, Mrs. Goldstein?"

"Oh your honor... it was *just* a can of peaches."

"*Just* a can of peaches, you say," says the magistrate, somewhat perturbed. "Hmmm.... How many peaches would you guess we...

The doctor just diagnosed me with Kleptomania By Proxy

But I didn't take it personally.

I entered a kleptomania competition..

I got a gold, silver and bronze.

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.

I took a lot from it.

I finally decided to see someone about my kleptomania

I just couldn't take it anymore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania.

I've been taking something of value away from every session.

I took a kleptomania exam.

It wasn't mine, but I took it anyway.

I've recently learned that I have a severe case of kleptomania.

During my episodes, I have to take something for it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got diagnosed with kleptomania.

My therapist reccomends I take something for it.

I thought my girlfriend was getting over her seabird-related kleptomania

...then she took a tern for the worse.

My psychiatrist told me I have kleptomania.

He said if I give him back his pen, he'll write me a prescription.

My son didn't take his kleptomania medication this morning.

He took mine.

I'm currently dating a woman that, like me, has Parkinson's and kleptomania.

We're going to take things slow.

There's a cure for kleptomania!

They make a pilfer that.

I took a urine sample at the doctor's office today.

I think my kleptomania is getting out of hand.

Kleptomaniacs Anonymous

Yesterday, I attended a meeting for people suffering from kleptomania. When I walked in the room, a man greeted me and told me to take a seat, so I did. As I was leaving, he told me to put it back or he was gonna call the cops.

You're never too poor for a hobby.

After all, there is kleptomania.

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