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Kleptomania Jokes

My girlfriend with kleptomania is no joke.

She takes everything, seriously.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm seeing a therapist to help with my kleptomania.

I've been taking something of value away from every session.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad

I take something for it.
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I'm really worried about my brother's kleptomania condition.

I wish he'd take something for it.
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The doctor just diagnosed me with Kleptomania By Proxy

But I didn't take it personally.
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I entered a kleptomania competition..

I got a gold, silver and bronze.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got diagnosed with kleptomania.

My therapist reccomends I take something for it.

I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.

I took a lot from it.
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I finally decided to see someone about my kleptomania

I just couldn't take it anymore
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A Jewish woman, Mrs. Babs Goldstein, has a problem with kleptomania.

She is brought before the court for stealing. The magistrate asks her, "So, what did you steal, Mrs. Goldstein?"

"Oh your honor... it was *just* a can of peaches."

"*Just* a can of peaches, you say," says the magistrate, somewhat perturbed. "Hmmm.... How many peaches would you guess we...
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I've recently learned that I have a severe case of kleptomania.

During my episodes, I have to take something for it.
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My son didn't take his kleptomania medication this morning.

He took mine.
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My psychiatrist told me I have kleptomania.

He said if I give him back his pen, he'll write me a prescription.
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There's a cure for kleptomania!

They make a pilfer that.
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I thought my girlfriend was getting over her seabird-related kleptomania

...then she took a tern for the worse.
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I'm currently dating a woman that, like me, has Parkinson's and kleptomania.

We're going to take things slow.
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A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I took a urine test at the hospital today," he tells the bartender. "My kleptomania is really getting out of hand."
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Relapse

"Great news, Mr. Oscarson," the psychiatrist reported. "After eighteen months of therapy, I can pronounce you finally and completely cured of your kleptomania. You'll never be trapped by the desire to steal again. "Gee, that's great, Doc," the patient replied."And just to prove it, I want you to sto...
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You're never too poor for a hobby.

After all, there is kleptomania.
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