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Procrastinate Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate."

I told her, "Oh yea... Just you wait."


Edit: She didn't believe in me but thanks to you guys and your amazing support, I can tell her to piss off cause I made something of myself. I'm front page famous.

Well... Not right now but I will!

My teachers told me I would never amount to anything because I procrastinate to much.

I told them, "just you wait!"

I don't know what "procrastinate" means.

I think I'll look it up later.

People say I procrastinate like there’s no tomorrow

But there’s always tomorrow

Why procrastinate

When you can put it off until tomorrow.

When's the best time to procrastinate?

Later.

"Let's procrastinate together," suggested my friend.

I said, "Maybe some other time."

To survive is to procrastinate death,

but in the end there is always a deadline.

Two things that I don't like about myself are procrastination and the habit of forgetting things.

But the good thing is that I don't procrastinate.

Why did the leader of the Soviet Union procrastinate?

Because he was always Stalin'.

Ive always wanted to teach myself how to procrastinate.

Just never got around to learning it.

What do you call it when a Russian dictator procrastinates?

Stalin’

Here's a funny joke about people who procrastinate

I'll post it tomorrow.

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry?

She had a filthy habit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I procrastinated as much as I masturbated

I'd never come to anything

Hello class and today ill be teaching you how to procrastinate

Actually, why dont you come back tomorrow.

Whenever I procrastinate on buying a gift, I just remind myself...

There’s no time like the present.

My wife thinks I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.

I said, “Just you wait!”

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