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Procrastination Jokes

I’ve been thinking of stopping my procrastination

Maybe I’ll start tomorrow

I have a Masters Degree in Procrastination

I just haven't picked it up yet.

I found a book on how to avoid procrastination...

I think I'll read it tomorrow

I’m addicted to procrastination

But I can start anytime I want

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION!

When do we want it? TOMORROW!

I am trying to overcome procrastination...

That's the setup. I'll do the punchline tomorrow.

What does procrastination mean?

I don’t know, ask me later.

I made a joke about procrastination.

I guess I'll just post it later.

Procrastination will be my downfall.

Emphasis on “will”.

A joke about procrastination

I’ll tell you about it later

Someone really needs to start a procrastination club

Maybe I'll get around to doing that tomorrow

I decided to do my thesis on procrastination 40 years ago.

Maybe I should start it next week

What country had a history of procrastination?

Russia. At one point, they were all for Stalin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Procrastination is like masturbation.

It feels good while you do it. But at the end of the day, you're just fucking yourself.

Two things that I don't like about myself are procrastination and the habit of forgetting things.

But the good thing is that I don't procrastinate.

It’s not fair that procrastination gets such a bad rap.

It has literally kept me alive for years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though

I'll figure out what procrastination means later

Try and name a better duo than me and procrastination

Go ahead, I’ll wait

How do you avoid procrastination?

I have a great punchline, but I’ll edit it in later.

A week ago Thursday was National Procrastination Day. . . .

Time to celebrate!

My dad is a master at procrastination

He never even finished that...

What do we say to the God of Procrastination?

Not Today!

This book, “The Procrastination Cure: 21 Proven Tactics For Conquering Your Inner Procrastinator”

I have had it in my Amazon shopping cart for six months, I will probably order it tomorrow.

I bought the book titled "How to beat procrastination" to fix my procrastinating habit.

It's been 5 months already and I haven't opened that book yet.

I'm studying the psychology of procrastination.

Or I will be tomorrow anyway

I was going to say a joke about procrastination

But I decided to tell it tomorrow

I gave up procrastination for lent this year.

Well.. I’m working on it.

Teachers: “Procrastination is bad!”

Theresa May: “Hold my government”

Procrastination

Eh, that's not an important joke; I'll tell that one later.

Wanna have a procrastination contest?

Great! We’ll start tomorrow

If procrastination were an olympic sport

I'd compete in it later.

I'm finally going to take care of my procrastination problem

Just you wait and see!

The three rules about procrastination.

1.

2.

If there was a competition for procrastination...

I'd probably put that off til later too.

Procrastination Paradox...

If you come in last in a procrastination contest because you procrastinated, does that make you the best or worst at procrastinating...???

I walked up to the master of procrastination, and asked him to teach me his ways.

He looked at me, smiled and said "Later."

My wife just got her degree in procrastination.

She said she would pick it up next week.

Me: man I reckon i'm the greatest procrastinator in the world, no one's better at procrastination than me

Friend: oh really? how about we have a contest

Me: yeah sure just gimme 5 minutes

TIL That procrastination stems from 2 basic personality traits

I'll post the link in a minute.

I just saw a book on Amazon called "Overcome Procrastination"

I've put it on my wish list.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Masturbation is a lot like procrastination . . .

... it's often more pleasurable while done gazing at yourself in front of the mirror.

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