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Police Academy Jokes

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I applied to the police academy

The academy head approached me "I am afraid I have to decline your application".

"What's the problem?"

"Your family history. Specifically your mother and father."

"My parents are happily married."

"That's the problem. All cops are bastards."

Terry Wingdings was the newest recruit at the police academy.

Look out world, there’s a new serif in town.

Three blondes are trying to enter a police academy.

In order to do so, they have to pass an entrance exam.

The examiner takes the first blonde into a secure room and shows her a picture for ten seconds, and then asks: “If this was your suspect, how would you remember him?”

“Easy,” the first blonde responds. “He only has one eye!”
...

Why’d the Jedi get charged with police brutality shortly after joining the police academy?

He used excessive force

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend asked me to choke her and hit her during sex but it makes me feel guilty.

I’m joining the police academy to learn how to abuse and choke someone without being guilty.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

The police academy was on the other side.

You get in a fight with a guy and he says to you, "Nobody screws with me, punk!". How do you reply?

"Well, one day you'll find the right girl, and all that will change."





\-credit to Police Academy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had just finished my grocery shopping

When I came outside and saw the parking agent writing a ticket.

I said, - what are you writing that for? The car is within the lines.

-Too close to the fire hydrant.

-But it is within the lines, why can't you dumb parking monkeys mark the lot properly?

Slightly annoyed, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Dad's Best Joke - Not a dad joke

My dad was enjoying a smoke break during an in-service training at the police academy. He had taken to smoking Misty cigarettes. A friend from a neighboring police force asked him why he was smoking such a feminine cigarette.

"Well, Kay went out to get something out of my cruiser the other da...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four cops had to take a test...

They were all asked the same question:
"What would you do if a man with a knife was coming at you?"

The Cop from the U.K answered by listing the steps in order what he was taught to do in Police Academy and in the Police Handbook

The Cop from the U.S Answered:
"BANG BANG BANG BAN...

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