UPJOKE
polyethylenebottlebagbaggerplastictextilepackaginggussetthermoplasticpolypropyleneldpevaselinelandfilllldpeplastic film

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, an old woman was walking with two big plastic bags.

One of the bags had a small tear, and 20$ bills kept on falling from the bag.

A policeman saw this and he stopped her.

Policeman: Madam, you are dropping 20$ bills

Old lady: Oh thank you so much, sir. ( Starts picking up the bills )

Policeman: Btw, where did you get all o...

Plastic bags are like sperm.

Billions are made each day, but only a few make it to the sea and strangle a turtle.

Marriage is a lot like PLASTIC BAGS…

They help hold a lot of trash together.

Source: my brother during a round of joke boat on jackbox party pack 6

The old lady's two plastic bags..

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic

garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in

awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling Ou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Australia just banned all plastic bags, yay for the environment

Oh shit I thought this was r/recycling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Due to grocery stores switching from paper bags to plastic bags, a serious problem has arisen.

An unprecedented number of ugly girls have died of asphyxiation during sex.

What's worse than two babies in a plastic bag ?

A baby in two plastic bags.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to get out of a speeding ticket...

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Democrats hoard their gas in biodegradable containers, and Republicans hoard their gas in non-biodegradable containers, then who did the people who hoard their gas in plastic bags vote for?

The Greene Party.

ALERT‼️‼️‼️ The corona virus can be spread through money.

If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight.
I'm collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health.

I just realized who has been killing turtles and oceanlive

Dexter and people in his plastic bags...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shopping Habits

A very proper man started going into the neighborhood drug store every week and buying two dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week, he would come in with the same order. One day, the druggist felt he had to say something to the man. "Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Carrot, cucumber, penis at a group therapy session.

The cucumber tells the group “ my life is so terrible people put me in a jar liquid and set me on a shelf for months and mutate me into something completely different” The carrot says no my life is way worse, people skin me alive, & eat my babies!” The penis pipes up and says “I think my life is...

the puppy test

Before you get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wee...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.