Peeling Jokes - 20 Hilarious Peeling Jokes

My dad CLAIMS to have invented this joke. I think it's too good and don't want to give him credit, but I can't find it online.

This story takes place in 1860. Back 150+ years ago, presidental candidates didn't have nearly the luxuries current candidates do. The didn't stay in five star hotels or travel by private jet - they stayed with normal families on their campaigns and in exchange for a place to stay, would do chores a...

Dad, where's the thing for peeling potatoes?

She went shopping.

I've got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine

I hope it bares fruit.

I got a job peeling corn all day...

It really shucks.

I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...

Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.

Why did the banana go to see the doctor?

Because it wasn't peeling very well.

I fell over, then heard a knock at my door.

I got up, but as I hurried to answer it, I fell again, this time face-first into the door. Peeling myself off it, I finally managed to get the door open. A man was there, and he said, "You need to come with me." I said, "No way!" before realizing I was now floating a foot off the ground. The man con...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

Why do sunburned people get more dates?

Because they're a peeling . . .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what's the hardest part about having sex with a monkey?

training it to suck your dick without peeling it

My 4 year old is a comedian and loves jokes.. this is her favorite one...

Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling very well.

I came up with this in math class

This guy goes to interview for a job. He’s really nervous about it, because this job is a super big opportunity for him. He goes in, and the interviewer introduces herself, saying “Hi, my name is Karen”. They immediately start talking about the job, and the guy is answering all of Karen’s questions ...

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well...

All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She is absolutely thrilled at the speed.

Never a man to turn down a good opportunity, the young man asks “If I go 120 mph, will you take off your clothes?”

“Sure!” says his adventurous girlfriend. So off they go.

As he gets up to 120 mph, she starts peeling off her clothes. Th...

Did you see the new youtube channel that's non stop footage of gorillas opening bananas?

It's super ape peeling.

I told my roommate he should date girls that sunburn easily...

He might find them more a peeling

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

my school life sucks.

my teachers are awful and give too much homework, they’re also so mean to anyone who tries to ask a question, and are always taking extra time just to pick on me, just being total jerks.

my classmates are equally bad, being big bullies to anyone they see, always stealing my work, tapping thei...

I love cooking with potatoes.

It's very a-peeling.

Yesterday, I got a facial cosmetic treatment in Boston.

It was more than a peeling.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

It wasn’t peeling well..

Side note: I was dressed as a banana for halloween and a 6 year old princess told me this joke.

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