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Outlaws Jokes

a sheriff was abducted by a gang of outlaws

They tightened him up in a tent and let his horse free

Later that evening the horse entered the tent when no one was watching, the sheriff whispered something in its ear

Later that night the horse came back with a young lady on its back, she spent the night with the sheriff and left b...

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!

Do you know the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

At least the outlaws are wanted by someone.


Credit: My father.

The Lone Ranger is Captured by Outlaws

The Lone Ranger is captured by outlaws. They are definitely planning on killing him, but have so much respect for the lawman that they decide to grant him 3 final requests. Upon hearing this the Lone Ranger says that he will only tell his requests to his noble steed, Silver. The bad guys agree. The ...

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

The outlaws are wanted

*shoutout to the customer that called in and ended the phone call with a joke to spread some cheer*

Marshall Dillon is returning from a 3-day trip hunting for outlaws. He see Chester walking down the middle of the street completely naked.

"Chester! What the hell are you doing walking down the street without your clothes?"

"Well, Mr. Dillon," says Chester, "since you were gone, Miss Kitty asked me to go on a picnic with her. So, we rode out to the woods, and she put a blanket on the ground. Then she took off all her clothes, an...

Why did the Vatican declare pirates were outlaws?

Because the cabin boy wouldn’t share his booty!

How does President Trump deal with outlaws?

He grabs them by the posse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Nsfw) The lone ranger and Tonto are travelling when they are captured by a band of outlaws

They bury the Lone ranger up to his neck in the dirt. The outlaws ask the lone ranger if he has any last requests before they leave him to die.


"Yes I do, tonto come here a moment"


Tonto comes over and the lone ranger whispers something in his ear. Suddenly tonto makes a run f...

Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister.

They were both outlaws and in-laws.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst part about God is that he outlaws masturbation. But if you don’t believe in him,

I guess you can go fuck yourself.

As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law.

While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.

Once upon a time three guys went hiking

By nightfall they ran out of food they all notice that there's one slice of bologna left, so they all decided go to sleep for the night and whoever wakes up the next morning with the best dream will get the last slice of bologna.

The next morning came and all the guys woke up, so the first g...

The sheriff's girlfriend asks to get married

GF: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't, I have to go catch bank robbers.

GF: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't, I have to go catch the cattle rustlers.

GF: Please, marry me?
Sheriff: I can't, I have to go catch the men who held up the train.

Moral of the story, some me...

Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce?

They become outlaws

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West.

(This was in the days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)

So, Fred fou...

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