Twitter in a nutshell

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I asked my dad to simply explain what an acorn is.

He said, "It's an oak tree, in a nutshell."

What's 2020 in a nutshell?

The bank security kicking you out for NOT wearing a mask.

My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?

Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "




Ps: This sub in a nutshell

Religion in a nutshell.

A ship, sailing past a small island spots a man who'd been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices 3 huts.

"What's the first hut?" He asks.

"Oh, that's my home." The man answers.

"What's the second hut?" The captain asks.

"O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Conspiracy theorists in a nutshell

Im kinda scared for the year 2020, because 2+0+2+0 = 4. which is the exact number of nipples Hitler would've had if he had 2 extra nipples

The Trump Years in a Nutshell

2016: Trump doesn't stand a chance.
2017: Trump's still trying?
2018: "Hey, are you guys going to watch the hunger games tonight? I hope my district wins"

Spiders in a nutshell

Scientist 1: This spider has long legs, so let’s call it long legs

Scientist 2: Not kinky enough

Eu in a nutshell

"I am hungary"

"Maybe you should czech the fridge."

"I am russian to the kitchen."

"Is there any turkey?"

"We have some, but its covered in Greece"

"Ew,there's norway I'd eat that!"

What is a walnut?

Well, in a nutshell, it is a nut

Legendary Skins in a Nutshell

Blizzard: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: Sure.

Blizzard: Legendary Skins.

Me: I don't get it.

Blizzard: Exactly

I went for a job interview today, when the interviewer asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience, in a nutshell?"

I responded, "I've never worked in a nutshell."

Social media in a nutshell

Instagram: "I'm so pretty"
LinkedIn: "I'm so good at my job"
Twitter: "I'm so funny"
Snapchat: "I'm a dog"

If you were to describe me in a nutshell...

... it would probably be in a fetal position pushing against the sides hoping that the shell would break.

Blondes is a nutshell

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: "I don’t know."

Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

Gambling is like eating a bowl of pistachios

If you get a good pistachio, you want another good one
If you get a bad one, you want a good one even more
And that’s gambling for you in a nutshell

What is an acorn?

It's an oak tree, in a nutshell.



Hahah my friend told me this. Credits to him.

Sperm...

Is just life in a nutshell

A man walks into a Subway...

A man walks into a Subway and orders a meatball marinara, the worker then asks him
"Would you like a joke along with your meal today?"
To which the man replies
"I sure would"
The worker then leaves and comes back with a huge walnut, the man sighs of disappointment and takes the walnut, c...

What do you call it when you hate when people use idioms, but you yourself still use them?

Irony in a nutshell.

Doctor: “I’m afraid that it was a severe allergy that led to you suffering an anaphylactic shock.”

Patient: “Enough medical mumbo-jumbo doc. Just give it to me in a nutshell.”

You know when you open a pistachio and it's empty inside?

That's getting to know me, in a nutshell.

How do you sum up a cashew?

In a nutshell!

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