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Snobby Jokes

What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the steps?

A condescending con descending.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A snobby young couple was walking through Central Park, discussing their massive credit card and mortgage debt.

As they worried about how to continue their rich lifestyle, a grubby homeless guy appears from behind a bush. He says, “Pssst! hey! I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you let me lick your wife’s boobs.”

The couple were appalled and hurry away. After a few seconds, the wife whispers, “You kn...

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A Southern Belle and snobby New York socialite meet at a swanky party.

The southern belle says, “How nice to meet you! Where are y’all from?”

The snob sniffs and says, “I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition.”

So the belle says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. Where are y’all from, *bitch*?”

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So I go hunting with a bit of a snobby friend of mine...

On a nice summer day I go hunting with my snobby friend (his first time) on the countryside. Almost 6 hours pass and we haven't seen a single bird before we see this pheasant running out of a cornfield into this grass field. My friend doesn't hesitate and and shoots the bird.
My friend runs up to...

do you know how they lined up the snobby prisoners?

they did it in con-descending order

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book...

I work a book store and this snobby woman comes in every day asking for the same stupid Stephen King book... And every time she gets rude when I tell her we don't have it.

Finally today I lost my temper and screamed at her to take her entitled attitude and get out of the store. There was some...

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An snobby woman stops at a local diner while traveling...

and orders a coffee. Trying to start a conversation, the waitress asks, "So, where are you from?"
"Where I am from, we do not end sentences with prepositions." the woman replies.
The waitress apologizes and tries again, "So, where are you from, Bitch?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A high-class London lawyer gets stopped by police...

A high class stuck-up London lawyer gets pulled over by traffic police for failing to stop at a stop sign.

Officer: 'License and registration please'

Lawyer: 'Why?'

Officer: 'Because you failed to stop at the stop sign back there'

Lawyer: 'But I slowed down and could see ...

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[LONG]ish A man's trimming his hedges as the postman walks by...

He gives a friendly hello and then realises this is the perfect moment to ask a question that's been bugging him for some time.

"Is it true what they say, that you lot sleep with the housewives whilst the husbands are at work?"

"Ha! It is indeed. I've had every woman on this street, e...

Good old Irish Granny....

Solicitors should never ask a County Offaly granny a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial in Tullamore recently a small-town prosecuting solicitor called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Murphy, do you know m...

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