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News Channel Jokes

I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier.

Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US.

What would you call a North Korean news channel?

The Medium.

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

April fools day on a news channel

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

I was watching a horror movie about the Apocalypse.

It took me 5 minutes to realise I was on the news channel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After reading about Zelensky's massive balls all over the internet Putin calls up Zelensky to prove him wrong. They decide to meet up in Ukraine to put it to a test.

"He, who ejaculates most wins!" said Putin. Zelensky agreed.

First up, it was Putin. He began stroking his tiny member and after a few seconds, out came his seeds.

"100 millilitres!!" shouted someone from the back.

"Piss off, Trump. It's just 10 millilitres" said Biden who h...

Retired Preacher man Sits on his sofa....

And he sees on the news channel there's a massive storm and flash floods coming.. news channel says to evacuate but he's stays put...
The Rain begins and so the flood waters rise.. his sofa starts to float .. so he climbs out onto the window ledge and a rescue boat comes along..

" *Jump ...

OC science joke

There was a young man who was fed up with all the bias in news networks everywhere and vowed to make his own set of news channels that would be void of any and all bias. As he was not a wealthy man he had to find ways cut costs in making his network. He managed to make an odd deal with all his suppl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was working very hard in his lab one day...

and after countless hours of working, he had finally invented what he thought was the revolution of the century; the time machine.

Being so tired from his work, he decided to take a break and watch some of the latest news. He flipped through a few channels to find the news channel. The repo...

The Parish Fast Food Shop

One day, the local parish decided to open a fast food restaurant, so they can make some more money on the side as church attendance was dropping. Being the smart people that they were, they divided themselves so each person does one job.

The fast food restaurant was doing quite well, and the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jerry and Gary were watching sitting on the couch

Jerry was changing channels on TV, he ends up on the news channel, where they hear the following:

"Squirrels are starting to go extinct in Canada, is speculated that on the black market a price of a squirrel can go up to 100.000$"

Jerry looks at Gary and says:

-Dude, I have the ...

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