A scientists asks people on the street whats the most acidic thing they own. One man answers its his phone. The scientist replies: “No, acidic does not mean dirty”

The man replies: “I know, my phone has a ph of one”

Humanity has colonized Venus and Mars. Venus is a pressure-cooker hellscape with an acidic atmosphere, and Mars has almost no atmosphere at all. In comparison, bad weather on Earth...

is such a first world problem.

even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14

Extremely basic

What is the most acidic soup?

Ph0

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big...

Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans

Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.

Everyone knows part of the way toothpaste works is by equalizing the acidic substances in your mouth.

I mean, it’s basic science.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a person is sexually attracted to acidic bark?

A peat fetish.

A friend asked me why some people don't like juice. I tell him it's probably because they're thinking of that cheap, acidic variety that's been destroyed by the concentration process

Apparently this opinion can get you banned from the local kosher supermarket

When you neutralize an acidic solution in a titration, what do you do?

Drop the base.

My cousin always introduces himself as "Stephen with a P-H"

It's because he's slightly acidic

What do you call someone who only drinks kosher Hydrochloric Acid?

Acidic Jew

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