UPJOKE
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Acidic Jokes

Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices...

Then it becomes basic.

Who is the most non-acidic Baseball player ever?

Al-Kaline

What is the most acidic soup?

Ph0

A scientists asks people on the street whats the most acidic thing they own. One man answers its his phone. The scientist replies: “No, acidic does not mean dirty”

The man replies: “I know, my phone has a ph of one”

even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14

Extremely basic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a person is sexually attracted to acidic bark?

A peat fetish.

Everyone knows part of the way toothpaste works is by equalizing the acidic substances in your mouth.

I mean, it’s basic science.

Humanity has colonized Venus and Mars. Venus is a pressure-cooker hellscape with an acidic atmosphere, and Mars has almost no atmosphere at all. In comparison, bad weather on Earth...

is such a first world problem.

What do you call a Rabbi who is also a chemist?

an Acidic Jew.

\*Slaps Knee\*

A friend asked me why some people don't like juice. I tell him it's probably because they're thinking of that cheap, acidic variety that's been destroyed by the concentration process

Apparently this opinion can get you banned from the local kosher supermarket

What do you call someone who only drinks kosher Hydrochloric Acid?

Acidic Jew

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