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Petite Jokes

If men call short women petite. What do women call short men?

Friends.

Men call short women "petite". What do women call short men?

Um, yeh, they don't call.

Source: I'm not a tall man.

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

...

Did you hear about the petite psychic who escaped jail?

There is a small medium at large

A large woman walks into a clothing store



wanting to impress her boyfriend, and asks "I want to see the large petite clothes."

Puzzled, the sales assistant responds, "Mam, I don't think we have anything to fit..."

"Found it!" says the woman, and goes to the petite section.

After a few minutes of the woman not fi...

My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious.

My petite girlfriend entered a marathon and thinks she can win...

I told her she’s got no chance cuz she’s always just running a little behind.

How do I know that petite women don't like being objectified?

Let's just say a *little bird* told me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer

A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid - the top half was a stunning, curvy redhead, and the bottom half was a tiger shark. As he watches, the pair finish the act...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you wish a guy who is about to have sex with a short girl?

BONE-A-PETITE

[nsfw] A chef had a one night stand with a 5 foot tall girl.

Shouldn't come as a surprise, really. Chefs like to bone a petite.

I had a Thai massage at the weekend...

Nothing dodgy - the wife had a token for one of those health clubs. So I strips down to my birthday suit and lie face down on the table. This very petite, but very gorgeous Thai girl comes in and starts to give me a very firm yet very relaxing massage. She’s totally stunning and as I’m lying there I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big, burly, 6’10” 283lb guy walks into a bar carrying a brown box...

Everyone is staring quietly because of the sheer size of some random guy seemingly on a mission.

He walks up to the counter and orders two shots of whiskey. After downing them both in succession, he reaches into the box and pulls out a huge snapping turtle, shows it to everyone around. Then t...

What does Kevin Spacey say when he's about to eat?

"bone a petite"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Queen of England Was on a Tour...

...at one of America's finest hospitals when she passed a ward and spotted a male patient stroking the salami.

"My word, if that isn't the repulsive thing I've ever seen!" she gasped.

"I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty," the doctor leading the tour said, "this patient has a serious cond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

There's a sign there that reads:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grilled Cheese - $2

Handjob - $10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He asks the petite bartender "Are you the little lady that gives the handjobs?"

Bartneder says "Why yes I am hun."

Guy says "well, wash those fuckin' hands...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every French waiter is an asshole to me, saying I have a small penis

They keep telling me "boner petite"

What did the man say after taking a small french woman to his room after dinner?

Bon a petite

A salesman is assigned a new route that takes him to Texas for the first time...

After finishing his first sales meeting in Texas, It was getting late so he checked into a hotel and went to its restaurant for dinner. He ordered a small beer. The waitress brought him a huge mug.

“Waitress” he said, “I ordered a small beer.” She said, “ This is Texas. In Texas that’s a sma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the French chef visit the sex therapist?

Boner Petite

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men with speech impediments are in therapy

The therapist is blonde, petite, and tight as a drum.

She says to the men, "If you can tell me where you live without stuttering, I will suck your cock and let you cum in my mouth."

The first man stands up and stammers, "M-m-m-montana." He then sits down.

The next man says, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NOT for the faint of heart!!

A small, skinny white guy got onto an elevator.

Just as the doors were closing, a huge, black dude walked on and stood next to him.

The big black guy looked down at the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 4 pound right ball, Turner Bro...

Free shoes

A very beautiful brunette with long hair, long legs and a petite figure decided to go shopping for shoes. Her friends warned her that the old, lonely man who worked at the shoe-store would try to look up her skirt to see her panties.

She really wanted a pair of shoes but was dismayed that the...

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