UPJOKE
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Mightier Jokes

The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from...

....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

The pen is mightier than the sword...

And considerably easier to write with.

The pen is not mightier than the sword.

But if the pen is long and sharp, it may be a draw.

Little known fact- the sword fish has few predators to worry about in the wild... except

for the rarely seen Penfish which is said to be even mightier.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why would you whip your dick out in a knife fight?

The penis mightier than the sword.

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Appolcolypse

A zombie apocalypse had enveloped the earth. 99.9% of the world’s population had been annihilated and Carl, lone survivor, was venturing the land looking for somewhere to take shelter.

One day, he came across a prison. The place was full of people armed with swords, spears, axes and all kin...

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A gladiator went into the battlefield with his dick out and came back victorious.

Because the penis mightier than the sword.

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In medieval England, a soldier was going to war without any legguards and his dick sticking out

The commander asked:
"What is the meaning of this Henry?"

Henry replied:
"A wise man once told me,'penis mightier than sword'"

After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.

The pin really is mightier than the sore.

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Well, there was this tiger who woke up one morning, and just felt great

(yes, just like Tony the Tiger: GREAAAAAAT).

Anyway, he just felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"
And this poor quaking little monkey replied: "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."

A...

My sister told me I'd never be able to kill a man with my pasta...

... She soon learned that the penne's mightier than the sword!

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3 proverbs

A boy heads off to college. When he got there he opened his email to see his dad had messaged him, telling him to have a great time but always be careful. He finished the message with 3 proverbs that always helped him get through life.

One day it was his roommates turn to clean the room. He n...

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A young frustrated actor, James, was desperately looking for a role.

He had been auditioning and auditioning to no avail. At this point, after the Weinstein revelations, he was convinced that the show business industry was completely corrupt and directors and producers only cast people who were willing to do “favours” for them. 



He’d turned down a dire...

Kids

A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you....

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