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Magicians Jokes

What do magicians and dads have in common?

Now you see them, now you don't.

Two magicians are walking down the street.

One turns into a bar.

Why are there no women magicians?

Because we burned them all

I come from a family of failed magicians

I have 2 half sisters

Two magicians walk into a bakery

The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclai...

Why don't you ever seen women magicians?

Because the last time we did we burned them

Magicians don't answer "how did you do that"

because those are trick questions

A magicians last trick

A magician stood in front of a crowd. "For this last trick I will make myself appear in 100 different places around this very room" said the magician. The crowd watched in disbelief. "3...2...1...abracadabra". Yet the magician was still there. "Hmm let me try that again 3...2...1...abracadabra". Not...

Where do magicians get quarters?

Cashiers.

If magicians can't reveal their secrets, how do we get new magicians?

By magic!

Wives are amazing magicians...

They can turn anything into an argument.

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

My parents were magicians

They did the disappearing act very well

Other magicians begged him to tell

But the masked magician never revealed how he avoided getting coronavirus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I feel sorry for the magicians I saw the other day....

He hypnotized 7 guys and then dropped the microphone on his foot and said "FUCK ME".

Magicians are celebrating 100 years of sawing people in half

I'm split in two about it.

I have a magician joke.

Magicians are known to be excellent at hiding things.

Then afterwards, they make it reappear somewhere else.

The best example of this is the good ol coin trick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Magicians assistant

My wife works as a magicians assistant and has picked up on some of the magic tricks.

I came home from work early the other day and she was in the bedroom. She said,’ abracadabra! Tara!’ and out of the closet jumps my best mate Dave, stark naked.

Poor bastard must have been wondering w...

What is a magicians favorite clothing item?

A card-again

What do you call a pair of pasta magicians?

Penne and Tagliateller

A competition is held to determine who is the world's best magician

David Blaine performs first with his famous trick. He waves his hand, and, *poof*, the card disappears.

David Copperfield performs next. He waves his hand, and, *poof*, the Statue of Liberty disappears.

Finally, a guy with a beard dressed in rags and sandals comes on stage. Nobody expe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A half dozen transexual magicians are touring the American South.

Six chicks with dicks play card tricks for a mix of hicks.

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