UPJOKE
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Last Forever Jokes

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

Sometimes February feels like it will last forever...

But time Marches on.

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A man meets a beautiful, really sexy girl.

He really wants her. So he invites her to a movie, and she tells him:

\- Listen, if it's sex you're after, then there is no need to get me dinners, movie evenings and all that. Just buy me a good Swiss Army knife.

The guy thinks. It's true, he's not interested in something long-term, s...

The creator of winrar is arrested

His trial is expected to last forever

I heard France is replacing its ageing, deteriorating navy vessels

I guess French ships don’t always last forever

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What is the differences in what a mistress, a hooker, and a housewife think about during sex?

The whole time, the mistress is thinking, ”I wish this would last forever!”

The hooker is thinking, “Ten more minutes and this will all be over.”

And the housewife is thinking, “Beige. I think I’ll paint the kitchen beige.”

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Why was the diamond so good at sex?

Coz diamonds last forever

It seems that my kids move at the speed of light

Because when they throw a '5 min' tantrum, it last forever

Difference between love and herpes...

...Herpes last forever.

One of my biggest fears is getting married. I hear that 50% of all marriages...

...last forever.

I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage

50% of them last forever!

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Three Men are on a Journey Through the Desert ...

A Generation X'er, a Boomer, and a Millennial are embarking on a desert journey. They have each been allowed to bring one item for survival.

The X'er was asked, "What did you bring?".
"I don't lack in intellect. I brought food so that we can eat if we are hungry

The others nodded ...

A battalion of Russian soldiers crosses Finnish border

Winter, 1939. A battalion of Russian soldiers crosses Finnish border. As they are marching, someone shouts from behind a forested hill:

"One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russians!"

The battalion commander hears this, mutters "we'll see about that", handpicks ten of his finest so...

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My all-time favorite Soviet joke

> IT IS LIKE THE SOVIET JOKE about Rabinovitch, a Jewish man who wants to emigrate. The bureaucrat at the emigration office asks him why, and Rabinovitch answers: “There are two reasons. The first is that I’m afraid that in the Soviet Union, the communists will lose power, and the new power will ...

My first wife was a Brit. I loved her accent and the different words she had for things.

She called the bathroom the "loo." She called the pharmacy the "chemist." But my favorite was the "post." It was a noun and a verb. The mail I brought home was called the "post," and when she wanted me to mail something, I was "posting" it.

We were not wealthy by any means, but after we had b...

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I caught my wife with another man

Some stories have hooks.

This story has a bloody good one.

It's about love—

Or at least marriage.

*My* marriage.

At heart, it's your typical fish out of water story, but like I said there's a hook.

The hook's in the beginning.

Although it's really the...

A soldier is stationed in the middle east...

A young, American soldier arrives to his first tour of duty in an undeveloped area of Kuwait, and quickly discovers that things are rather strict. While he's able to distract himself for the first few days, he soon starts to get a little bit "antsy," and wonders how, exactly, he's meant to contend w...

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