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Kneecaps Jokes

Yesterday I broke an old woman’s kneecaps during CPR.

In First Aid class they told us to press between the nipples.

Just married!!

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can’t wear your pants,"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two old women are talking to each other.

One says "I think I have cancer, I found 2 lumps under my breasts". The other replies "oh you old hag, it's not cancer honey, those are your kneecaps!"

When playing a game against a less skilled player, it’s considered fair to give them a handicap.

That’s why I always break my opponent’s kneecaps before a game of Monopoly

Somebody once threatened me...

"I'm about to demonstrate to you how kneecaps are a privilege and not a human right."

Got this new Italian Health Insurance.

Not only am I covered if, god forbid, someone were to break my kneecaps. But they'll also make it quick.

Did you hear about Dr. Stephen Hawking?

News report I saw this morning describing horrible injuries to Dr. Stephen Hawking like a broken jaw, damaged collarbone, smashed kneecaps...
Apparently his date last night stood him up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A newlywed couple was getting ready for bed on their wedding night.

Being the old-fashioned types, this was their first night together. The bride is in bed, all dressed in her fancy negligee, watching her new hubby get undressed with anticipation. He takes off his shirt, then sits down on the bed and takes off his socks, and his toes are all gnarled, small and twist...

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