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Kidney Transplant Jokes

A DIY kidney transplant...

...is a home renalvation.

I just found that my ex-girlfriend needs a kidney transplant

But I'm not worried, because her body hasn't rejected any organ in the last 5 years

-- Credits to Tom Cotter

A man goes to the hospital to get a kidney transplant

He enters the operation room, and he starts to stress out. The surgeon, realising that something is happening, asks the man if everything is alright:

"Is everything fine sir?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit scared about all this. I know this operation is important, but I'm stil...

What did the man who is in dire need of a kidney transplant say to the young man with a broken knee cap?

I don't need your bad kid knees.

Did you hear about the man who got a brain transplant?

He thought he needed a kidney transplant but he changed his mind.

A man stumbles upon a magic lamp and rubs it, revealing a genie that claims to grant the man three wishes.

The genie says "I can grant you three wishes, but your worst enemy gets twice what you wished for."

The man agrees. He says, "My first wish is to have 20 billion dollars.

The genie agrees, reminding the man once again the rules, to which the man is still fine with.

The man then ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a 10 year old kid asks his father...

For $10 dollars. The father then asks his son,
"can your dick can touch your ass?" The kid says no, and his father says

"then, you can't have it until it can."

A few years later, they are out eating, and the son asks if he could have some of his fries. the father again asks,
"c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American doctor and a Cuban doctor are having drinks...

.. and bragging about how good they are in their fields.

The American doctor says "I can do a kidney transplant in 4 hours."

Cuban doctor says "I got you beat. I can do it in 3."

The American doctor says "I can do open heart surgery in less than 3 hours!"

Cuban doctor say...

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