UPJOKE
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Freshman Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib is in trouble with the Secret Service for using the words "Mother F**ker"

Apparently, they weren't happy she revealed Mike Pence's code word

An old drunk walks in the the toughest biker bar. He immediately Scans the crowd until he find the toughest biker in the bar

The guy is a Monster or a man and looks very dangerous. The old drunken man sits down on a bar stool next to him and says loudly, “Hey buddy! Hey! Tough guy! Why don’t you buy me a beer before I go home and go bang your mom!”

The crowd goes silent; they know this biker has killed for far les...

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there ...

... And to the rest of you mother f\\\*\\\*kers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Old sailor's joke

So an old salty sailor told me this one, I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did.

There once was a sailor, who got off his ship in a distant land. First thing he does is ask where the nearest brothel is at. Once there he orders his drink, starts talking to the pretty women around, and final...

A young boy walks into a brothel dragging a dead frog on a leash behind him

A young boy walks into a brothel dragging a dead frog on a leash behind him. He goes straight up to the pimp and says: "I need a girl for an hour.".

"Haha! You've got to be joking boy, you're just a kid!" replies the pimp.

Boy throws a pack of money onto the table.

Pimp: "Well, ...

A man once told his female colleague that he just didn't think women were funny...

The female colleague said "Bet I can make you laugh in 30 seconds or less."

The man scoffs. "Oh yeah? Prove it."

The woman takes out a gun. "This is a fully loaded 9 mm. Laugh or I blow your f--king head off!"

The man puts his hands up in shock. "Are you crazy?!"

"LAUGH, ...

A man was going for a holiday to Acapulco, Mexico...

But since he does not speak any Spanish, he is a bit worried if he will be alright.

He talks to an old friend about his worries and the friend tells him "Don't worry! Spanish is not so hard to speak. Many words are similar to english, so if you just speak slowly enough, I'm sure they will und...

A lady goes to her priest one day...

... and tells him, "Father, I have problem. I have two female parrots that used to live in a house of ill repute, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hoo-kers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" t...

One day a priest was walking on a pier when he noticed a guy in a boat fishing

He waves to the fisherman, and the fisherman asks him if he'd like to join him in the boat for a little angling. The priest enthusiastically agrees but explains that he's never fished before. The angler says he'll teach him.

On his first cast, the priest hauls in a really big fish. The fisher...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest....

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, ‘Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you’re doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you’ll see, you’ll feel so much better!’ The giraffe looks...

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