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Jeffrey Dahmer Jokes

What did they find in Jeffrey Dahmer’s shower?

Head & shoulders

Jeffrey Dahmer's trial...

Dahmer's lawyer speaks up:
"Your honor, if you are what you eat, then my client is an innocent man!"

I had dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer.

He cooked Stu

Jeffrey Dahmer decided to go on a vegan diet

He found a family of them at the Farmers Market.

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet visitors with a handshake.

why did Jeffrey Dahmer never eat liver and onions?

He didn't like onions.

Jeffrey Dahmer was hosting Thanksgiving dinner

His mother leans over to him and whispers, "I really don't like your neighbors."

So Jeffrey whispers back, "that's OK, just push them to the side and eat your vegetables."

(I haven't told this joke since JD went to jail)

Jeffrey Dahmer’s mother was over for a visit having dinner.

She says “you know Jeffrey, I really don’t like your friends.”

He just shrugs & says “well just eat the vegetables then.”

What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator?

My Bologna had a first name.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the guy that ran from him?

Fast food.

It was a disgraced former cop who caught Jeffrey Dahmer.

He was just trying to save face though.

What do Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?

Ate dead people.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to that Prisoner who killed him?

I eat guys like you for breakfast.

What was Jeffrey Dahmers favorite restaurant?

5 Guys

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was a smoker...

They found a pile of butts behind his couch.

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer move to a larger apartment?

He needed more leg room.

There was a serial killer who killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer and never got caught

His name was Jeffrey Smahter

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite fruit?

Chopped Dates

Jeffrey Dahmer didn't like Tic Tacs or gum.

He preferred men toes.

Did you know Jeffrey Dahmer was a time traveler?

He was eating Five Guys before it was a thing.

Netflix tried to get the Jeffrey Dahmer tapes...

...but it was going to cost them an arm *and* a leg.

Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

The CDC said to refrain from hand shakes.

Jeffrey Dahmer immediately bummed as he turns off the blender

Jeffrey Dahmer once sent me a dinner invitation

But the offer was a me steak.

Ted Bundy asks Jeffrey Dahmer you got any ice cream in the freezer?

Nah, just Ben and Jerry Jeffrey replies.

How did Jeffrey Dahmer make alphabet soup?

With 26 characters he met at a party.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mom are having dinner.

Jeffey's mom looks over at him and says "Jeff I don't like your friends". Jeffery then replies "You can eat the potatoes".

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Peewee Herman have in common?

They were both caught with hands in their drawers.

A beacon of true racial equality

"In this time of being divided by race we should be more like Jeffrey dahmer, who only saw the color of people as a light pink center with a nice sear"

Jeffrey Dahmer was HOT.

He had the body of a much younger man.

You know one the main reasons Jeffrey Dahmer got caught was because his freezer stopped working and the smell became so bad the neighbors were complaining.

The cops came to his door and said "We heard you were keeping a bunch of spoiled brats in here"

News Anchor: CDC advises no handshakes at this time.

Jeffrey Dahmer: AWW... **STOPS BLENDER* *

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