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Invaded Jokes

If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear,

Do you think Greece would help?

What would happen if Sweden invaded the country to the East of them?

They would cross the Finnish line.

Why was the British Politician's Home Invaded?

He forgot to close the Farage.

What did the Carolingian Empire say when the Hungarians invaded?

Stop it, you're making me Hungary!

If Luxembourg invaded another nation,

then they’d probably be hit with a Luxembargo.

In 1240 CE, the Mongols invaded Tibet

... and the Tibetan leader, Lama Sakya Pandita, marshaled all able-bodied men in Lhasa to repel the invasion. Commoners, nobility and peasants answered the summons, but Sakya's own monks hesitated. After all, they had all taken vows of nonviolence, and had not harmed so much as a fly since their i...

What did Russia say when it invaded part of Ukraine?

Crimea river.

My garden has been invaded by hedgehogs.

Pricks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A village is invaded by the enemy army

During a war, an army enters a village and the commander decides to execute all villagers by the firing squad. But, he also wants to entertain himself and gathers the men and the women across each other. Then, the soldiers blindfold the women and leave the men butt-naked.

The commander says "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Hitler say when the Soviets invaded Berlin?

I Did Nazi That Coming

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Japan invaded China in World War II...

...imagine how many people died from friendly fire.

Did you know that /r/prequelmemes has invaded all of reddit?

It's a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

What did Putin tell the Ukranian government when he invaded western Ukraine?

Crimea river.

If USA invaded Canada, Russia would save them...

Because they've got poutine!

What would happen if Hungary invaded and conquered Turkey?

A new kingdom would be formed known as full.

What did Harry Potter say when he invaded Afghanistan?

Expected petroleum.

This criminal invaded my house and turned my phone book upside down without me realising.

Instead of the cops there's some angry guy with a pitchfork on my doorstep.

Ukrainian Peasant finds a Genie in a Bottle

A Ukrainian peasant finds a genie in a bottle. The genie offers him three wishes. He’s a stupid peasant but he knows what he likes.

The peasant says, “I want the Chinese to invade Ukraine from the east and then go back to China.”

So it happens and the Chinese army invaded Ukraine from ...

The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool..

Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..

On the one hand I feel bad that Jeniffer Lawrence privacy was invaded, but on the other hand

...well that hand is busy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler, Napoleon, and Rasputin are in a bar in Hell recounting their glory days

Hitler: "It vas going so vell, I had conquered most ov Europe and the vorld seemed to be just vithin mien reach...but then I invaded Russia."

Napoleon: "That's nothing. I easily conquered all of Europe. I even became Emporer! It was all goin so well...but then I invaded Russia."

Rasput...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it called when you can't stop doing cocaine? Addicted.

What's it like when you smoke every day? Addicted.

If you have a compulsion to bet your money on the horses, you are -- addicted.

Who invaded Ukraine? A dick did.

A joke my Polish friend loved.

[Full of errors I'm sure. On to the brilliant joke.]

A polish farmeris tilling his field. It's another beautiful spring day when suddenly his plough hits something. Upon inspection he sees that it's some sort of golden lamp. He dusts it off and a genie comes out of it and says to the humble p...

Whats Kim Kardashian and the Middle East got in common?

Both are covered in oil, huge, and been invaded by the West.

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