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Incase Jokes

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A man knocks on the door and asks the woman " Do you have a vagina? "

A woman hears a knock on the door and when she opens the door a man asks this.

Man: Do you have a vagina?

Woman slams the door in disgust

The next morning she hears a knock again and answers the door. The man asks the same question
Man: do you have a vagina?

She slams ...

What did the butcher say to do incase there was a fire?

Grab your meat and beat it

Just incase you were thinking of buying a boat

I hear they have a sail on

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks if anyone in the class can use the word "contagious" in a sentence.

Jenny puts her hand up and says "My mum says we should stay home when we're sick incase we're contagious."

"That's right" the teacher says, "Anyone else?"

Susie says "My grandma says a smile can be contagious."

"Very good" says the teacher, "Anyone else?"

Little Johnny pu...

I went golfing and was asked why my bag had an extra pair of socks

I told them "incase I get a hole in one!"

Why did the golfer bring 2 pairs of trousers?

Incase he made a hole in one

why did the nurse need a red pen to work

incase she had to draw blood

It's proper manners to knock on the fridge door before opening it

Just incase there's a salad dressing

One day, a little boy decides to write his Christmas letter as usual. When all of a sudden, his mom pops into his room.

Mom: What are you doing son?

Boy: Writing my letter to santa mom

Mom: With how bad you've been this year you'll have to write a letter to Jesus to get anything!

So the boy starts to write his letter to Jesus, and has to think about what he's going to say.

'Dear Jesus, I'v...

Wore two pairs of socks to the golf course today

Just incase I got a hole in one.

I found out my friend has been stealing garden gates recently.

I don’t want to confront him though incase he takes offence.

Saw someone stealing my gate today.

I didn't say anything though. Incase he took a-fence.

Why did the german die from his injuries

Because when his friend asked if there is a number to call incase of emergencies like this, he replied "999".

WW2

During WW 2 a British commando is trained to drop into France and sabotage the enemy. He is given a full training and in his last session he is told where he will be dropped and that a bicycle will be there for him so he will be able to move around easily.

As he gets ready in the plane to j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple of Old Ladys are sitting outside of their retirement home, smoking cigarettes

when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy.

The first old lady pulls out her little umbrella and awkwardly holds it up abover her as she puffs away on her cigarette.

The second old lady pulls out a condom, tears a hole at the tip with her teeth and procee...

Ladders causes more accidents in homes than guns

That's why I have 10 guns, incase some psycho tries to sneak in a ladder.

Gravity Falls has the best jokes.

Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?

Incase onion rings

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guest dining in a classy restaurant drops his spoon before finishing his soup. (Nsfw)

Before he could reach down to pick it up, a server was already standing next to him holding a replacement.
"Wow! That was tremendously fast. The service here is impeccable. How did you do that?."
"Well, all of the servers here have an extra piece of cutlery on their tray at all times just...

The longest joke in the world (Shortened)

So this guy is driving in the desert when his car breaks down. He gets out and began looking for help. He can't find any and passes out of heat stroke. But he survives and a snake stared him right in the eyes. 'AHHHHH!!!' He screamed. 'Hello' said the snake 'My name is Nate and I am a magical snake'...

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