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Packer Jokes

What do you call a 300 pound Green Bay Packer fan?

Anorexic

The Pope, the Packers & the Vikings

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the pope-mobile when he heard a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man wearing a Green Bay Packer jersey was struggling frantically to free himself from the ja...

Fillet - o - friend

In 1874, Alfred Packer and his party were caught in a snowstorm in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. When he was finally rescued, the rest of the party was dead. Packer was found to have dined on "fillet of friend". At the murder trial - before Packer was found guilty - the judge reportedly yelled at hi...

So I was at my local store...

So I was at my local store and watched the bag packer bring an old ladies groceries out to her car. When I got to the checkout I said, "can you carry my groceries out to my car?". The bag packer said, "sure sir, why not".

We traveled across the car park and when we arrived at my car I said, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of the Vikings/Packers game on Saturday...

How can you tell if a Packers fan is mad at you?

They grit their tooth at you.

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin. A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, “So, dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don't think so, Susie. It's an 18-hour drive.”

“Don't worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”

“I don't know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she ha...

What should the Packers call their cheerleaders?

Green Baes

More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

The...

The Green Bay Packers' Defense

That's it. That's the joke. LET'S GO FALCONS!

What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?

They both love Clinton-Dix.

A health-conscious man got a job as...

... a grocery packer. Every day he watched customers buy candy, soda, potato chips and processed snacks. He knew people were damaging their health with these unhealthy foods choices.

One day, he couldn't take it anymore. When he saw a customer with their cart full of particularly unhealthy ju...

You Know You're A Northneck (Northern Redneck) If......

Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.

You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.

You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.

(You're re...

Breaking News: NFL responds to lost revenue from kneeling controversy

Breaking News: The NFL announced today that because of lost revenue due to kneeling, an NFL Team had to be cut. Tampa Bay and the Green Bay Packers will be combining forming the Tampacks. They will be good for only one period and will have no second string...

Nsfw . Why don’t witches wear panties?

To grip the broom better. Todd Packer The Office.

I recently went to visit my 80 year old uncle who lives on a very secluded farm in Michigan's upper peninsula.

I have not seen my uncle in over 20 years. It is a 10 hour drive to his house and he only leaves the farm for groceries or doctor’s appointments, and never ventures far. We spent hours chatting the entire evening, and finally went to bed after midnight.

Early the next morning my uncle prepar...

Why did Monica Lewinsky change her fandom from the Packers to the Washington Redskins?

She likes Clinton-Dix

Word of the day: cheesehead

I asked my wife if the Packers are going to the Super Bowl, and cheesehead "no".

(Sorry. I was rooting for Green Bay. Gotta try to have *some* fun with the loss.)

Which workers have the biggest dongs?

Meat packers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had a bowel problem one day and goes to see his proctologist.

"What seems to be the problem?", asked the doctor

"Well, ever since the Packers got that bad ref call during yesterday's game, my gut has been acting up"

"Bad ref call?" Replied the doctor, while preparing his instruments. "I was watching that game too, but it didn't look bad at all!"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching a bunch shoe store clerks arguing at a grocery store checkout line ...

It just kept escalating until an all-out bawl broke out at the store. At the end, the shoe store guys kicked the crap out of all the grocery packers. Just goes to show...

Baggers can't beat Shoes'ers ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Coming Home Early

A man, returning home a day early from a business trip, got into a taxi at the airport. It was after midnight. While en route to his home, he asked the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspected his wife was having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agreed....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three buddies get pulled over.

One day Joe, Craig and Mike were booze cruising around when they get pulled over by the police. After Joe failed the sobriety test the officer said 'well boys I'm feeling generous tonight and if all your penises add up to 18" I'll let you go'.
The three decide that it's a fair bet so Mike says he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar in Chicago looking kind of upset.

The bartender says "What'll it be bud?"

"Just a beer" says the man.

Reading the mans expression the bartender asks "Whats the matter?"

The man says "Everyone tells me I'm not having enough sex, but I can't seem to find any women who want to have sex."

The bartender is cur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The bull trick (a bit long)

An old cattle farmer is being helped by the local vet with his herd of cows and bulls. It is breading season and some of his older bulls are having a bit of a hard time performing. These are top of the line studs, but age is finally catching up with the bulls. The farmer laments to the vet "Well, I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory.

A guy gets a job working in a pickle factory as a pickle packer and he excitedly goes home to tell his wife the good news.

"Try not to get fired, we really need this job" she tells him.

The first day on the job he comes home and she asks, "How was work today?"

He replies "I lo...

Overcoming the fear of parachuting.

A man always wanted to go skydiving, but was never able to gather the courage. He goes to the local airport and inquires about what is involved in the jump.

The manager explainxs the procedure to him -- “We are expert parachute packers, and have never had a failure. We take you up in the pl...

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