Hobbie Jokes

69 and going hunting

One of my hobbies is time travel, I do it from time to time.

He said he had nun.

They bring home 6 figures

The man replies, 'I like running, hunting, and people watching'

The lady says, 'Oh that's cool. I'm also a runner.'

The man says, 'I know.'

That was the most scientific way I've ever been offered acid

They get very Inuit.

After making a hard decision, I'm now a legoless Legolas.

I put Football, Travel and 1939-1945.

In that order.

- Bilbo, Frodo and Samsagaz.

I already gave up tennis and swimming, but painting is where I draw the line.

"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."

... to bad these hobbies consist mostly of drinking.

that's a big red flag!

and not using commas.

They have access to painting, exercise, a small library, cooking, all sorts of stuff.

When they paint, they are often instructed to paint their mood, or something they would like to see or do when they are released. Some paint melancholy things, dark with depressive imagery and muted colors. ... read more

And make you an otter you can't defuse.

They've got a lot of thyme on their hands

It’s hard enough to find time to hide my drinking problem.

He soon woke up in a land of paradise. He spent the next few days exploring. Heaven was exactly as he imagined—pristine rolling hills, golden castles upon cloud tops, reunions with lost loved ones, and endless opportunities to explore one's hobbies. He had access to the finest selection of inks and ... read more

by a “Keep off the Grass” sign.

Teacher- "Boys, tell me your names and hobbies"

1st boy- My name is Jack. My hobby is watching Moon .

2nd boy- My name is Harry. And my hobby is watching Moon .

3rd boy- My name is George & hobby is watching Moon .

Teacher- "wow nice nice, your hobbies are same ..... read more

Two old friends caught up for lunch. Jake and Oliver hadn't seen each other for over twenty years. "How have you been?" Oliver asked.
"I've been good" Jake said, ordering from the menu. "I'm married with two great kids. Work is a bit dull but it pays the bills. How about you, how have you been... read more

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?"... read more

...I would never dessert you.

(Thanks Reddit for 4 years of fun facts, interesting stories, and new hobbies!)

I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.



[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours]

I met a girl from the country a few months back and I think I'm in love. She is so kind and interesting. Her name is Sue named after her mother. She has a great family, they live on a farm and have all sorts of cool hobbies and jobs. She grew up riding horses and taking care of animals, doesn't she ... read more

He confides to his friend and says "Everywhere I look, I see people who look and dress like me. All my favorite TV shows are the most popular ones, and the music I listen to is listened to by millions. I have a very normal job and no particularly interesting hobbies. Even my name is one of the most ... read more

Me: I can see dead people.

Her: Wow! Any hobbies?

Me: Grave digging.

She: What are your hobbies?

He (gets a stuffed hamster out of his pocket): Taxidermy.

Hamster: And ventriloquism!

\- Name?

\- Angus MacTavish.

\- Age?

\- 43.

\- Place of birth?

\- Isle Of Rum.

\- Slow down, we'll get to your hobbies later.