My wife finally had enough of my "childish" hobbies and made me choose between my collection of plastic blocks and my fantasy costumes.

After making a hard decision, I'm now a legoless Legolas.

If someone on a first date tells me their hobbies include drawing the flag of China without the stars I think to myself...

that's a big red flag!

I’ve got 70 hobbies

69 and going hunting

This pandemic has given a whole generation the time to work on their hobbies, and become very skillful at them...

... to bad these hobbies consist mostly of drinking.

On a first date, a lovely young lady asks, 'So what are your hobbies?'

The man replies, 'I like running, hunting, and people watching'

The lady says, 'Oh that's cool. I'm also a runner.'

The man says, 'I know.'

I don't know if this one has been said but here goes.

As a necromancer you need hobbies. I've chosen baking because it's weirdly very similar. With a little ritual... I raise the bread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Old Joke

The year is 2120, and our story follows Joe McFlinch and his journey to overcome his inner demons. 'Who is Joe?', you may be wondering. Well, Joe is a cowardly 29 year old male. He has no special talents or skills, no hobbies, and most sadly, no friends. If I were to describe him as a dish, he would...

I filled out a job application form. It asked for Hobbies and Pastimes ...

I put Football, Travel and 1939-1945.

Returning to work, a colleague asks me, "Pick up any new hobbies while stuck at home?"

"Yeah," I reply through my mask, "I took up ventriloquism. I'm pretty good; notice how you can't see my lips moving."

A bishop was asked what his hobbies were.

He said he had nun.

A man starts to fear he's not unique

He confides to his friend and says "Everywhere I look, I see people who look and dress like me. All my favorite TV shows are the most popular ones, and the music I listen to is listened to by millions. I have a very normal job and no particularly interesting hobbies. Even my name is one of the most ...

Have you seen how excited Alaskans get about their hobbies?

They get very Inuit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently in the hobbies section of my job application - Golf, masturbation and rolling boogers is not suitable....

I was only joking...I hate golf.

How do anime fans afford their hobbies?

They bring home 6 figures

My friend told me my hobbies were too basic

That was the most scientific way I've ever been offered acid

- To conclude your job interview, what are your favorite hobbies?

- Bilbo, Frodo and Samsagaz.

My dating profile says I’m an adrenaline junky who laughs in the face of danger and my hobbies include walking on thousands of blades bare footed for fun. I just love the way the blades tickle my feet and there is no way I’m going to be stopped

by a “Keep off the Grass” sign.

My favorite hobbies are getting naked, and scaring people.

In that order.

I was talking to my friend over the weekend, when he brought up the subject of hobbies....

He asked, "What do you do in your free time".

To which I responded, "I stalk people".

"Oh", he exclaimed, "Really? I enjoy walks in the park or going to movies with friends".


"I know"

My wife says I have too many hobbies

I already gave up tennis and swimming, but painting is where I draw the line.

Hobbies

One of my hobbies is time travel, I do it from time to time.

A mental health facility offers supervised hobbies for its patients.

They have access to painting, exercise, a small library, cooking, all sorts of stuff.

When they paint, they are often instructed to paint their mood, or something they would like to see or do when they are released. Some paint melancholy things, dark with depressive imagery and muted colors. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor because his penis has turned orange.

After a thorough physical examination:

Doctor: "We can't find anything physically wrong with you that would turn your penis orange. I'll be honest, I've never seen anything like this, perhaps it's a psychological issue. Have you been under a lot of stress lately, maybe at your job?"

Ma...

I'm going to combine my hobbies of taxidermy and bomb making

And make you an otter you can't defuse.

I’m 35 so I hate it when people ask me if I have any hobbies.

It’s hard enough to find time to hide my drinking problem.

My three favorite hobbies are eating my family

and not using commas.

To celebrate my cake day, I decided to post a joke

I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.



[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours]

Reddit, no matter how much I love cake...

...I would never dessert you.

(Thanks Reddit for 4 years of fun facts, interesting stories, and new hobbies!)

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg.

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him.

The narwhal comes and the penguin says, "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break ...

New teacher joined in the school

Teacher- "Boys, tell me your names and hobbies"

1st boy- My name is Jack. My hobby is watching Moon .

2nd boy- My name is Harry. And my hobby is watching Moon .

3rd boy- My name is George & hobby is watching Moon .

Teacher- "wow nice nice, your hobbies are same .....

[On a date] Her: So tell me something weird about yourself.

Me: I can see dead people.

Her: Wow! Any hobbies?

Me: Grave digging.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orange Dick Bad

A guy goes to his doctor and says "Doc, ya gotta help me. My dick is turning orange!"

Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can have a look. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange! Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a l...

A boy was once born without a body, only a head.

His parents were in total shock: their new child, only a head with a hand coming out from where the neck would be. Somehow, the child was in relatively good health, so they brought him home and cared for him as they would any other child.

Raising Head Boy presented with many challenges. He c...

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.

Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've susp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy went to the doctor complaining of an orange penis.

The doctor looked at him rather puzzled, as he'd never seen anything like this before.

Doctor: Do you use any unusual chemicals at work?

Patient: No I'm unemployed.

Doctor: How about hobbies, is there anything you do in your spare time that could cause this?

Patient: No I...

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