Henry Viii Jokes - 21 Hilarious Henry Viii Jokes

Why couldn’t Henry VIII breath?

He had no heir.

King Henry VIII had six wives. He beheaded two of them.

Those were his axe wives.

(this joke is courtesy of my father)

Did you know Henry VIII was the first Jedi?

He was a master of divorce.

Henry VIII had a door for his ex-wife to leave, and a different door for his new wife to enter.

He was a British king from the Twodoor House dynasty.

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in

(Anne Boyeyn)

I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

What did Henry VIII say when Anne Boleyn cheated on him?

“So no head?”

Why did Henry VIII fail his classes?

Because he lost all his Tudors.

Did you know King Henry VIII had an insatiable sweet tooth and was particularly fond of honey?

It's why two of his wives were bee-headed

How do you tell the age of Henry VIII?

Count his rings.

What did Henry VIII say to his wife?

Easier dead than son, huh

What do you call King Henry VIII when he’s in the air?

An altitudor

Who invented that game?

Did you know that Henry VIII invented the game F*ck, Marry, Kill?

Back in his day, however, it was called Wed, Bed, Behead.

When Henry VIII has trouble in school, what does he do?

He hires a Tudor.

Five of Henry VIII's wives just got their GCSE results...

D

B

D

D

B

I saw a man on the street dressed as Henry VIII.

He was sitting on the sidewalk asking people for money.

I thought, that can't be right; beggars can't be Tudors?

It is 1538 and the Dissolution of Monasteries by King Henry VIII is in progress...

having broken away from the Catholic church, Henry had angered many adherents both domestic and abroad, and sought to shut down any institutions that swore their allegiance to the Catholic church before he had a revolt on his hands.

He attempted to completely squash all churches, monasteri...

My girlfriend called me a pervert and a terrible historian

I said, "I am not a terrible historian....ask me the fate of Henry VIII's wife's". "Go on then" she replied.

...

"Divorced

Beheaded

Died

Divorced

Beheaded

Creampied"

It was movie night, and I thought my favourite baroque composer and Henry VIII would enjoy the film JFK.

Sadly, Bach and Tudor left.

After double doors had to be installed in the castle to allow for Henry VIII's massive frame, he was no longer the same man who enjoyed playing his horn or teaching his kids.

He was a two-door tooter Tudor too dour to tutor

"Not tonight darling, I have a headache" - Wife

"Not to worry love, we'll soon sort that out" - Henry VIII

My son said he couldn't abbreviate what happened to Henry VIII's last two wives.

I think it's BS.

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