It is said that when He made the world, God overturned the bag of miracles in the place where America is now. Astonished and a little shocked by the excessive goodwill of his Creator, an angel asked God: "What are you doing, Your Holiness? Didn't you give them too much?" God answered him...
What's the opposite of goodwill?
Badwon't. I'll see myself out...
I went thrift shopping for some things to give to people after I've passed on...
It's some good Goodwill will hunting.
PRIDE Month is the best month for Goodwill
A lot of clothes are leaving the closet
Why did Rick and Morty go to Goodwill?
To get thrifty.
Goodwill has announced they will no longer accept donations of vape or tobacco products
Clothes, but no cigar.
Yo mama so fat....
... she gave her memory-foam mattress to Goodwill and they sold it as a flying saucer.
I was going to donate my silverware to Goodwill today, but the wife already gave them to a friend.
I have no more forks left to give.
My wife has been missing for a week. The police called me and said to prepare for the worst. So I went back to Goodwill and bought all her clothes back.
A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill.
Whoever lost a Rolex I report "the time now is 20 minutes after seven"
Discount War Medals (True Story)
Once I saw an article about how a person found a Purple Heart in a Goodwill store. They then bought it and tried to locate the family where it came from so they could return it to whomever it belonged.
But I commented on it saying “Wow they found a Purple Heart at Goodwill, that’s is a steal!...
I’ve been on the prowl for the best thrift store deals
I guess you could say I’m Goodwill Hunting.
Typical dumb blonde...
Billy-Bob and Jimmy are standing at the base of a flag-pole, looking up and scratching their heads, when a beautiful blonde woman walks by and inquires about their purpose. "We've been hired to find out the height of this here flag-pole, such that we might fit it properly with the flag of this gr...
What does Matt Damon call it when he shops for cheap clothes?
A man lost everything in his life...
he just lost his work, his house, his car, and the wife left with the kids. All that is left is $50 from his pocket. Lost and wandering around, he stumbled upon an old hermit. The hermit asked him what was wrong and he told his story. The hermit offered him a book, told him its the "Book of Secrets"...
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2 Congressmen, 2 rednecks, and 2 tech guys from Silicon Valley go to North Korea . . .
So these 2 Congressmen decided to make a goodwill trip to North Korea. To show the wide range of cultures in the U.S., they took a couple redneck guys from Mississippi and a couple of tech savvy guys from California. After a short tour, they were thrown in prison for not having proper credentials....
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A CNN reporter is in Israel
She see's a man praying by the Wailing Wall. She walks up to the man and begins interviewing him.
"Sir, how long have you been praying here"
Looking at his watch, the man replies, "I have been praying here for 60 years, 3 months, 17 days, and 3 hours"
"Sir, what have you been pr...
A state trooper knocks on Mr. Smith's door...
"Mr. Smith," The officer goes on, "as you know, we have been searching for your missing wife for the last 10 days. We've put our best men and our most advanced resources into the search. The governor is going to call a press conference this evening to call off the search. I'm here to tell you tha...
Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop?
The killer was said to be goodwill hunting.
Topical Jokes (5/20)
Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.
Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...