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Goodwill Jokes

My wife has been missing for over a week.

The police said to be prepared for the worst. So I had to go to Goodwill to get all her clothes back.

Today I brought home a record I found at Goodwill. It was called "Sounds Wasps Make"...

I put it on my record player and thought, "This doesn't sound anything like wasps!" Then I realized I was playing the bee side.

What's the opposite of goodwill?

Badwon't. I'll see myself out...

I walked out of a goodwill store one time and found this woman crying.

She had just lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I just found.

We were about to head to goodwill

I was fine until my dad said, "get in the box"

Pontius Pilate: “As a gesture of goodwill to mark the beginning of Passover, we will release one prisoner.”

Crowd:

PP: “It’s part of my new Pilate program.”

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO

Goodwill ?

It is said that when He made the world, God overturned the bag of miracles in the place where America is now.
Astonished and a little shocked by the excessive goodwill of his Creator, an angel asked God:
"What are you doing, Your Holiness? Didn't you give them too much?"
God answered him...

PRIDE Month is the best month for Goodwill

A lot of clothes are leaving the closet

Goodwill has announced they will no longer accept donations of vape or tobacco products

Clothes, but no cigar.

A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill.

Whoever lost a Rolex I report "the time now is 20 minutes after seven"

What's it called when Matt Damon goes searching for a thrift store?

Goodwill hunting

Discount War Medals (True Story)

Once I saw an article about how a person found a Purple Heart in a Goodwill store. They then bought it and tried to locate the family where it came from so they could return it to whomever it belonged.

But I commented on it saying “Wow they found a Purple Heart at Goodwill, that’s is a steal!...

Yo mama so fat....

... she gave her memory-foam mattress to Goodwill and they sold it as a flying saucer.

Shot a bear while thrifting

Goodwill Hunting

I’m making a movie about looking for vintage records at thrift shops.

It’s called “Goodwill Hunting.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was driving down a country road when I saw a sign: "Talking Dog For Sale."

I drove another mile before I turned around. A talking dog? Really?

I pulled up a gravel laneway and parked next to the barn. An old farmer was working on his tractor.

"Excuse me," I said, "but I couldn't help but notice your sign. Is it true you have a talking dog for sale?"

"Y...

Typical dumb blonde...

Billy-Bob and Jimmy are standing at the base of a flag-pole, looking up and scratching their heads, when a beautiful blonde woman walks by and inquires about their purpose.
"We've been hired to find out the height of this here flag-pole, such that we might fit it properly with the flag of this gr...

Did you hear about the mass shooting at the thrift shop?

The killer was said to be goodwill hunting.

I’ve been on the prowl for the best thrift store deals

I guess you could say I’m Goodwill Hunting.

A Kirby guy on a hot day…

A door to door salesman was walking down a street in a very hot day, when he came across a pair of little girls selling lemonade.

Taking a break, he buys a big glass and goes to sit under a large elm tree.

Suddenly, he hears a guy yell “Nice suit buddy, did you buy it at the goodwill s...

A state trooper knocks on Mr. Smith's door...

"Mr. Smith," The officer goes on, "as you know, we have been searching for your missing wife for the last 10 days. We've put our best men and our most advanced resources into the search. The governor is going to call a press conference this evening to call off the search. I'm here to tell you tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A CNN reporter is in Israel

She see's a man praying by the Wailing Wall. She walks up to the man and begins interviewing him.

"Sir, how long have you been praying here"

Looking at his watch, the man replies, "I have been praying here for 60 years, 3 months, 17 days, and 3 hours"

"Sir, what have you been pr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Congressmen, 2 rednecks, and 2 tech guys from Silicon Valley go to North Korea . . .

So these 2 Congressmen decided to make a goodwill trip to North Korea. To show the wide range of cultures in the U.S., they took a couple redneck guys from Mississippi and a couple of tech savvy guys from California. After a short tour, they were thrown in prison for not having proper credentials....

A man lost everything in his life...

he just lost his work, his house, his car, and the wife left with the kids. All that is left is $50 from his pocket. Lost and wandering around, he stumbled upon an old hermit. The hermit asked him what was wrong and he told his story. The hermit offered him a book, told him its the "Book of Secrets"...

Topical Jokes (5/20)

Welcome back, everybody! We've got some more news and, thus, more jokes. Let's get started.

Right off the bat, more on President Obama. Following a week of scandals, President Obama played golf with Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. Things got a little tense when Obama had IRS agents audit...

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