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Gary Johnson Jokes

Gary Johnson

Has won the election.

Senator Bernie Sanders during his 2016 campaign run was the subject of a lawsuit by Libertarian Gary Johnson's campaign.

The subject of the lawsuit was an accusation of plagiarism. the Johnson campaign alleged that Senator Sander's slogan of "Feel the Bern" was paraphrased from Johnson's own campaign slogan "Feel the Johnson".

Gary Johnson is at a fundraiser

Gary Johnson is at a fundraiser for the upcoming election. Worn out from being in the spotlight, he propositions a hooker and heads to a hotel room. Once inside, they rip their clothes off and start making out. She throws him on the bed and seductively asks "Do you enjoy felacio?" He looks at her wi...

Charlie Kirk, Ayn Rand and Gary Johnson walk into a bar.

They all die of lead poisoning because there's no goverment to regulate how much lead the barman is allowed to put into his drinks.

Gary Johnson withdraws from the Libertarian Ticket. Replaced by Harambe.

That's right. Johnsons out for Harambe!

Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns

By keeping his mouth shut.

A guy goes to hell...

And as Satan is walking him through, they go through a room with a bunch of clocks on the wall.

“What are these for?” The man asks.

“These are the lives of politicians, every time they tell a lie, the clock ticks back,” Satan Replies.

“See,” Satan says, “There’s Gary Johnson’s”...

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