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Fridays Jokes

I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter.

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what kind of meat does a priest eat on fridays?

Nun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fridays!!

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowingin despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.
The Devil: Why so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... Do you drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to ...

What do Catholic cows do on Fridays?

Chew their cod.

Why does Jack dress business casual on Fridays?

He only has four suits.

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Jack rings the boss one Friday and says "I can't come in to work today, I'm sick"

so the boss says OK and Jack turns up as normal on Monday. Next Friday though Jack rings in again and says "I can't come in to work today, I'm sick". This pattern repeats every week for a couple of months and eventually the boss calls Jack into his office and asks him what's the matter.

"Well...

Do you know what kind of bird doesn't fly on fridays?

A one that died on Thursday...

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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.

When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable – an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

F...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A few guys always used to meet up on Fridays after work for a drink.

One Friday, Pete showed up late, sat down forlornly at the bar and knocked back his first beer in one gulp.

‘You OK?’ asked Bill, another of the gang.

‘Not really,’ sighed Pete. ‘This morning my wife told me that she’s rationing our sex life – she’s cutting me back to just once a week....

On Fridays I'm usually in bed by ten pm....

And home by midnight!

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week.

My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.

Red Skelton's advice for a good marriage. Lesson 1:

Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

Which restaurant has the best special effects?

C.G.I Fridays

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