I saw a French footballer playing on my Nintendo Console several years ago...

It was Thierry on Wii!

Florence+The Machine replaced one of their members with a former Portuguese footballer.

They are now called Florence+The Maniche.

Two great football fanatics, Andy and Stevie, were discussing the chances of football being played in Heaven.

They couldn't see how any self-respecting Heaven would not have football - but yet, they weren't quite sure. Finally they agreed that the one who died first would come back and tell the other if they played football in Heaven or not.

Not long afterwards, Andy was run over by a bus and killed...

What do you call it when a Bayern footballer steals from a French bank?

A Franc Robbery

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs?

Gracias.

Tell you what, it's lucky that those Kids trapped in the cave in Thailand are footballers

It means they're already good divers.

R Kelly likes his girls like he likes his professional footballers

Young, fit, and not allowed to come out.

Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave

...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive

Why was the Jamaican footballer sad?

He was kicked off his team's rasta

Footballer Dwight Yorke just got denied entry to the US due to an Iranian stamp in his passport.

Makes a change at least, most of his troubles are from briefly entering Jordan.

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