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Fluctuation Jokes

FLUCTUATIONS

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious that she was a little irritated...

She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today, I on...

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Currency Fluctuations

An Asian man comes to the US to do business and converts 110 million Yen into 1 million dollars. On his next trip, he returns to the bank to do the same, but only receives $990,000 in return.

He asks the teller, "Why did I receive less this time?"

The teller responds with a shrug, "...

A Chinese guy in the U.S. goes to exchange his currency.

He exchanges C¥10,000 and gets US$1,500.

The next day, he exchanges another C¥10,000, but gets only US$1,499. He asks why.

The exchange clerk says, “Fluctuations.”

The Chinese guy is shocked for a moment, and yells back, “Fluctuamelicans!”

Albert Einstein walks into a bar

He sits down and the bartender asks what he wants. He says "2 beers, one for me and one for the stool next to me".



The bartender pours 2 beers and asks, "are you waiting for someone?"


Albert says "No, but there is a chance that quantum fluctuations could align themselves ...

Fluctuations

An older Chinese woman moved to America to live with her daughter. Knowing very little english and still getting a feeling for the area, the woman went to the bank to exchange some currency.

She gave the teller a 100 yuan note and received $15.30. Very pleased with this she took the money an...

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Fluctuations..

So a Japanese woman goes to a bank to exchange some yen for US dollars. She hands over 1000 yen and the bank teller returns $10.

The next week, she does the same, only this time the teller returns $9.50.

The woman, puzzled, says, "but last week, you gave me $10 for 1000 yen..?"

...

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An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

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An Asian walks into a currency exchange and get $100 back for his exchange

Next day he goes there again and for the same amount of money he receives $94 this time.

He asks the teller "why $6 less today compared to yesterday"

The teller say "fluctuations"

The Asian man get up angrily and storms out slamming the door, turns around and shouts "fluc you Am...

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A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....

He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an ‘ah so’, and leaves.

He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, ‘fluctuations’!!

He angril...

Worker- Can I get a raise? Boss- Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Worker- I don't get it !

Boss- That's right.

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An Asian Man Walks Up to A Bank Teller To Exchange Yen for Dollars....

The teller gives him $180.

The Asian man complains: "But yestaday, I get $200. Why less today?"

The teller shrugs and replies: "Fluctuations"

Livid, the Asian man yells "Well, fuck you Americans too!"

Chinese economist asks American Economist

The Chinese stock market experienced a drastic drop over the past 3 months. With most local economists failing to explain this phenomena, a renowned Chinese economist decided to albeit reluctantly phone up his American counterpart.

Due to the fraught ties between the two countries, the Chines...

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An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66.
He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said "Fluctuations."

The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fuck you America...

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A Japanese woman went to the bank to exchange yen to US dollars.

The teller gave her $100. A few weeks later, she gave the teller the same amount of yen, but she was given only $90.

She said, "What wrong? I give yen, you only give 90 dorrah?!"

The teller shrugged and said "Fluctuations?"

The woman said "Fuck you white peopre too."

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

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An Asian man goes on a trip to America

He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.

After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to...

An asian asks for help at an airport...

Asian: "why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."

Airplane help guy: "fluctuations."

Asian: "fluck you americans too."

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A Japanese woman is trying to exchange Yen for Dollars at a bank

With a baffled look on her face, she angrily demands, “Yesterday, it was 180 Yen to a dollar, today it’s 200. Why is that?”
The banker responds, “Fluctuations”
The woman snaps back, “Well, fuck you white people, too!”

A Chinese man comes to America...

He brought all of his money over in RMB so he goes to a bank with 1000RMB and asks them to change it into dollars. The teller takes his money and gives him $650.

A week later he's out of cash and goes back to the bank with another 1000RMB. He gives it to the teller and this time he only get...

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

A Chinese man goes into a bank ...

... to exchange some Chinese yuan for American dollars. The teller finishes counting the man's currency, looks up that day's exchange rate, computes the conversion and quickly counts out the American currency in twenties, "…140, 160 and" plunking down the last bill, "makes $180. Will that be all tod...

This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency. After receiving his Money he asks, "How come I came in here with same amount of Money as yesterday but today I get less Yuans in return?"

The banker says, "Fluctuations."
The Chinese guy replies, "Fluck you Blitish too."

John Bolton: What really happened

At a secret meeting, Kim Jong-un asked Bolton how he would describe Trump's constant wavering on the nuclear issue.

"Just fluctuations," Bolton shrugged.

"Fluck you white people too," snapped Kim.

A Chinese man goes to the bank

A Chinese man that just moved to the United States goes to a bank to exchange his yuan for US dollars. He gives the teller 100 yuan and the teller exchanges it for $100. He thanks the teller and leaves.

A week later, the Chinese man returns to the bank with another 100 yuan to exchange. Thi...

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In line at the bank the old asian lady in front of me got in an argument with the teller. . .

"last week I bring 200 dolla, you give me 100 yen. This week I bring 200 dolla you only give me 80 yen! Why?"
The teller said "fluctuations"
"yeah, well fuck you white people too!"

Chinese man in a London bank

A Chinese man living in London went to the bank and asked the banker, "Why I have less money in my account than yesterday?" The banker replied, "Fluctuations." The Chinese man said, "Oh yeah? Well fluck you Blitish too!"

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A Japanese man on holiday in the USA

Goes into a bank and asks the teller/cashier to change 1000 yen into dollars. The teller/cashier gives him 90 dollars.
Next day the Japanese man returns to the same bank goes to the same teller/cashier and asks to change 1000 yen into dollars.
This time he receives 85 dollars.
What's this s...

An American guy goes to a currency conversion shop...

...and notices the changing rates of the US dollar. He says to the clerk, "Wow...fluctuations..." The clerk angrily replies, "HEY! FLUCK YOU WHITE GUYS TOO!"

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One week, a Chinese guy exchanged some currency....

and came back next week to do it again, only to find that the rate had increased.

He asked the nearby white clerk, "Hey! You! Why it more expensive now?"

The clerk replied, "Oh. Fluctuations."

And the Chinese man said, "Well, fuck you white guy!"

(Disclaimer: I'm Chinese ...

Mrs. Chang takes a 500 yuan bill to the bank to change for dollars

The teller makes the calculation and gives her $80.44.

Mrs. Chang returns the next Friday and puts a 500 yuan note on the counter. The teller puts down $79.94.

Mrs. Chang says "Last week you give me $80.44, but now I get $79.94. Tell me why it changed!"

The teller showed her t...

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A Chinese man is visiting the USA on business and goes to a bank to exchange some money.

He gives the teller 400 yuan, receives $60 USD and goes on about his day.

2 days later the Chinese man returns to the bank with another 400 yuan and leaves with another $60 USD.

2 days after that, the Chinese man returns once more to the bank and hands the teller 400 yuan. This time h...

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Mad Japanese Businessman

So a Japanese businessman comes to America and seeks to have the time of his life. He goes to the bank, gives them some yen, and he gets $1,000. A night on the town was in order and he goes crazy and spends it all. The next day he is excited to do it again, gives the teller the same amount of yen, b...

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An Asian Guy gets off a plane to New York

He needs American money so he goes to the bank but doesnt know much english. He goes to the teller and says "me, change" and hands over 10,000yen. The bank teller understands and takes it and hands over $100

The next day, the Asian man does the same thing and gives 10,000yen to the bank telle...

An Chinese tourist goes into a bank

He approaches a teller, and gives him a 1000 Yuan in cash, and says "Dollar, please".

The teller understands, takes the cash, makes some calculations and hands him back $150. The Chinese guy takes the cash and walks out of the bank.

A week later, he goes into the same bank, with anothe...

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Retiring from the British Army can be complicated. (Long)

Lt. Colonel Robert Maclaren retired from the British Army in 2001 after a long fulfilling career. On the day that he retired he received a letter from the Personnel Department of the Ministry of Defence setting out details of his pension and, in particular, the tax-free ‘lump sum’ award, (based upon...

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Currency caper

A Japanese man visits Australia.

On the way in he converts his 4000 yen to $100.

A couple of weeks later, he is returning home and converts his last $100, but this time only receives 2000 yen.

"what's up with this?", he enquires, "why is the conversion rate half what it was wh...

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I was working as a teller at a bank when a Japanese woman walked in.

I was working as a teller at a bank when a Japanese woman walked in. She comes to the counter with a small stack of ten-thousand yen notes. "Hi, can I help you?" I said. "Yeah, How much American dorrah I can get for hundred thousand Japanese yen?" she asks. Looking up the information on the ever-cha...

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Tax Man (long)

One morning, a man got a call from the IRS.

IRS Agent: "Mr. Smith, we have noticed some large discrepancies on your account. We would like for you to come down to our office so that we can clear this issue up."

Mr Smith: "Gee, that sounds like a big deal. Should I bring a lawyer?"
...

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