This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Hypnotist at a Senior Home

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Two old friends were walking down the beach, and one spots an ancient-looking oil lamp.

He picks up the lamp, and just as he began to inquire 'What's thi...", his buddy rips the item out of his hands and begins furiously rubbing on the side of it.

Smoke began to swirl from the end of the lamp, and coalesced into a muscular man in old Arabian attire.

"I am a jinn who has b...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

O Dick NSFW, Long

A recently married soldier was coming up on the end of his leave. Although things between him and his new wife were wonderful, he worried about her loyalty while he was gone. Resolved to find her something that would occupy her time and satisfy her until he could return home, the man went into a nea...

If you're ever lost in the woods, just look up at the sky for the North Star.

Its twinkling will comfort you as you die.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping

They pitched their tent under the twinkling start and went to sleep. Sometime during the night Holmes woke Watson up and said:

"Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you see."

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce f...

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