What do mermaids wash their fins with?

Tide.

Watching tropical fish in a tank can be very relaxing.

It’s the indoor fins.

Why are fire trucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people, and eight plus four is twelve. Twelve inches is a foot, and a foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is also a ruler, but queen Elizabeth is also a ship, and ships sail the seas, and seas have fish, and fish have fins, and the Fins fought the Russians, Russi...

Today in the Gulf Stream, two dolphins were caught cheating on their significant others, and in the East Australian, a humpback whale gave the term new meaning when he was found in the fins of another beluga.

I like to stay on top of current affairs.

Why do dolphins get so happy when they move into a house?

Because they have a lot of indoor fins

What's the name of the X-rated photography site for fisherman?

OnlyFins.

After Finding Nemo, how did Dory make money?

She started an OnlyFins.

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

Why are firetrucks red?

Why are firetrucks red?
Well because firetrucks have six wheels, six is half a dozen. Usually when someone is using half a dozen and a dozen, they are referring to eggs. Eggs come from chickens, a male chicken is a rooster, roosters are often on steeples, steeples are are tall, like a mast on a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the ocean’s version of a porn site?

OnlyFins!

The millionaire..

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything they desire of mine, to the perso...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only survivor of a shipwreck washes up on a deserted island

He’s stranded alone on the island for over ten years surviving on coconuts and fish. One day he’s sitting on the beach thinking about life back home when a woman in a wetsuit and scuba gear stands up in the ocean and starts walking out of the surf, fins in hands. The man shakes his head and blinks h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. The father added, "First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing....

What hormones does a fish use to swim in a house?

Indoor Fins

Why don't baby fish ever get headaches?

Because they have a set o' mini fins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mother sharks and her offspring were swimming one day when they came upon a sinking ship.

Mother shark saw the humans abandoning ship. Once the ship sank, she instructed her offspring, "Follow my lead. We're going to swim in circles around the humans". The little sharks, their hunger already growing, were excited. One asked, "Can we eat them now?" Mother replied, "Not yet, dear. Just fol...

The Zoo Joke

A man had an uncle who happened to own a zoo. One day, the uncle unfortunately passes away. When the man speaks to his uncle's lawyer, the lawyer offers to give him the zoo. The man willingly agrees. The zoo has an aquarium, a lion cage and a bird cage but it is in horrible condition. The man pays t...

Little Johnny is in 1st grade, but extremely smart.

One day his friend asks him how he’s so clever.

Little Johnny answers: Simple, I use association.

During this, their teacher is listening and thinks this is a big word for a first grader so the teacher decided to test him.

Teacher: Johnny I heard you telling your friend about...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A whale walks into a bar...

The bartender immediately stops the whale as he enters. Holding both hands up, the bartender begins shouting,

"Woah, woah there, whale! What are you doing here?! This is a bar! This is no place for whales!"

The bartender notices this upright whale is wearing a top hat and carrying a S...

A man decided that he wanted to learn how to scuba dive.

He spent weeks getting certified, and hundreds of dollars on all of the top of the line equipment he could get - fins, a wetsuit, a mask, and even a waterproof notebook with a pen that could write underwater.

When he finally got down underwater for the first time, he was surprised to see a m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So the popular joke of the morning is the whale blowjob.... I got you!

So a couple of years ago two sharks were swimming along and came across a small party boat that was sinking. One shark says to the other, lets swim around and show them one fin, that will scare them. So they make a few laps, sure enough giving the party on board a good scare. The sharks hang around ...

There's this penguin...

There's this penguin, driving through the South, the Deep South... late August. The hot months. "Ew! But it sure is hot!" the penguin lisped from behind the wheel of his choking jalopy.

Suddenly! The jalopy fails the penguin and he has to push it down a bumpy road to the next small town. He g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a shark and his son are going to get some food....

They look for a vessel in distress, and when they finally find one, the father says to the son, "I'm going to teach you how to catch your first human. First, you raise your dorsal fin slightly out of the water. Second, you raise all of your fins out of the water, and start circling around them. Fina...

We all felt euphoric once I added sharks to the pool inside my house...

That's because the pool was full of indoor-fins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father shark and a son shark come across a shipwreck...

The son shark immediately starts swimming for the people, anxious for the easy meal. The father shark stops him. The son shark asks "Why can't I eat the people?". The father explains to him, "In a moment son...watch me". The father shark proceeds to swim around the people, showing his fins. He swims...

A penguin is driving his car..

..when he hears a strange noise, and takes it to the mechanic.

The mechanic says it will take awhile and suggests the penguin go across the street to grab some ice cream while he waits.

So the penguin eats his ice cream with his flat little fins and tiny bea, then he goes back to the s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.