Fields Jokes - 29 Hilarious Fields Jokes

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?

I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.

What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?

A re-seeding airline!

This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD

Why did the pot farmer have such ugly fields?

He was afraid to use a weed whacker.

How does a mathematician plow fields?

With a pro-tractor.

What town is Strawberry Fields in?

Nothing, Israel.

Dear son; Your mom and I love you very much, and we miss you dearly ever since you went to prison. I especially miss you now that spring is here, and it is time to plow the fields. The ground is hard, and my back is old. I am afraid I will never be able to plant the crops in time. Dad

Dear Dad:

Do not dig in the field. That is where I hid that thing. You know I can not say what it is because they read our mail. Just do not dig out there.

Your son

\----------------------------------------

Dear son:

The cops came out and dug up my fields. They sai...

What do you call a policeman who patrols farmers fields?

A beet cop!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two brothers come across two fields at night.

Two brothers come across two fields at night. One field is full of watermelons, the other one is full of olive trees.

The two brothers decide to steal some olives and watermelons so they could eat it at home. One brother goes to the watermelon field, the other one goes to the olive trees fie...

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

A man sees a 3 legged pig in a field

He goes and asks the farmer, "What's with the three legged pig?"
The farmer says "That's my lucky pig, that is!
- What did you mean?
farmer - well one day I was out on the tractor ploughing the fields and the barn caught fire. That pig ran over the fields to find me and oinked continuously ...

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields

Farmer ike and his churl chester are working the fields when it starts raining. the farmer sais: chester, go to the house and fetch me my wellys, for its starting to rain!

chester heads to the house, and when he enters through the kittchen he sees the farmers wife and daughter perpearing the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Medieval polish farmer is out working in his fields one day, and digs up an old magic lamp. He begins to wipe off the dirt, thinking to sell it at market, when suddenly a Genie flies out, offering the astonished farmer 3 wishes.

"Oh Noble farmer, you have freed me from my prison, and for that I grant you 3 wishes! What say you?"

The farmer thinks hard about his first wish, and finally says "I wish for the Mongol hoard to come invade Poland."

The Genie looks at the farmer, puzzled for a moment, then nods. The e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian man is looking wistfully out at his fields...

It's spring, and for decades and decades now, he's always planted tomatoes, a tradition he brought over all the way from the old country to his adopted home in the US.

Unfortunately, he's getting old, and the work of turning the soil over to prepare for planting the tomatoes is beyond his bod...

I threw my back out tilling the fields of Egypt.

My doctor said I should see a different cairotractor.

How do you remove all the Russian tanks stuck in the fields outside Kyiv?

Ukraine them out.

A white scientist is studying a tribe in Africa

A white scientist is studying an African tribe.

One day, the tribe leaders wife has a white son.

The tribe leader approaches the scientist soon after.

"Well, we both know what happened here. No one else could have done it. You slept with my wife, I have to kill you." The tribe l...

Do you know those round hay bales you sometimes see in fields?

The government is trying to outlaw them. Apparently cows aren’t getting a square meal.

A father and his son were standing the the farm, looking out into the fields

"One day, this will all be yours" the father said.

Next day the father died of natural causes and the ownership of the farm was transfered to the son.
24 hours later the bank came and took over, due to the fathers very high debt.

"I guess my father wasn't lying when he said this wou...

A farmer had 196 cows across 4 fields.

When he rounded them up, he had 200.

What does a prehistoric farmer ride in the fields?

A Velocitractor

Why do the cows return from the fields right about when evening tea is ready?

It’s tea-pot calling the cattle back

Mixing up the title and text fields.

What's the worst way to ruin a joke?

What do you call 18 wheat fields in france?

Dix-huit fields.

Two magnetic fields are talking to each other

Magnetic field 1: "Aren't you mad that all the coils above you are parallel to your magnetic field?"

Magnetic Field 2: "Nope...I give zero flux!"

An Egyptian farmer refuses to believe his fields had flooded...

He was in De Nile.

The Furious Bull in the fields..!!

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

An Indian Chief and a Pilgrim are out hunting in the fields.

Chief - "Never hunted with white man before."

Pilgrim - "Don't worry I aim well. Last year I took down a..."

The Chief stops walking and slowly kneels down and places his right ear against the ground.

The Chief stands up. "Buffalo. Come."

Pilgrim - "How do you know?"
...

Dad and Dave were out plowing the fields one day when they took a break.

Dad says, "How come you left a patch over yonder there Dave?"
Dave replies, "Well dad, that there is sacred ground coz thats where I had my first one."
"Oh, your first one hey Dave?Ok. What about that other patch over yonder? Is that where you had your second one?"
"No", says Dave, "Thats w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lucy is working on the fields

Lucy, a really hot girl, is working on the fields. Stevey walks by and starts talking to her.

'Gee, Lucy, you're smoking hot. I'd really love to touch your breasts.'

'Oiii, what do you think you're doing Stevey?!'

'Lucy, I'll give you $100 if you'll allow me to touch them!'
<...

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