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Facial Expression Jokes

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The best joke I’ve ever heard which never fails to make me smile whenever I remember it.(NSFW)

Three explorers get lost in a huge jungle. After wandering around for days, they are found and captured by a jungle tribe. The tribesmen take the explorers to their leader and drop them at his feet. The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d...

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My blonde girlfriend froze

In the middle of love making so I gave her an interrogative facial expression. " oh..I saw this on youporn" she said," they call it bufferring".

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3 men are ship-wrecked on an island

Where they are captured by cannibals. The cannibal leader says he'll let them live if they go out in the forest and grab 10 of the same fruit.

They all run off, when after a while the first person comes back with 10 apples. The cannibal leader then says, "You must shove them up your ass witho...

A big burly guy approaches a store clerk and asks to buy half a head of cabbage.

All they had at the time were full heads in cling-wrap. After a few back and forth, the clerk heads to the office exasperated and asks his manager. 'There's a 300-pound gorilla outside asking to buy half-a-head of cabbage'. From his manager's facial expression, he realized he's been followed. 'And t...

What is the difference between Jesus and Casanova?

The facial expression when getting nailed.

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3 men in a shipwreck drift upon an island

Upon searching the island, they find it's inhabited by cannibals. The king of the cannibals says, "go out and bring us 10 pieces of fruit or we will eat you". So each of the men goes looking for 10 pieces of fruit. The first one comes back with 10 apples. The king of the cannibals says "now shove th...

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Three men get lost in the woods...

As they search for a path out together they accidentally stumble into the part of the woods ruled by fairies. The fairy King is not impressed with intruders and orders them executed. They beg for their lives and the King decides they shall complete a two part challenge to be shown the way out.
<...

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were all stuck on an island with cannibals

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were all stuck on an island with cannibals. The cannibals said, "if you do what we say, we wont kill you". so the 3 girls followed the orders the cannibals.

So the cannibals said, "go into the forest and pick 10 fruits of the first fruit you see".

So ...

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There was a girl at the lecture..

She was watching porn, but I could tell from her facial expression she didn't enjoyed it. She more like despised it and probably thought “I don't accept this, it cheapens women!".  She looked so angry that I turned towards her and said “If you don't like it, no-one is making you watch it. So please ...

3 guys are lost in the jungle, they are soon discovered by a tribe of cannibals and are taken back to their village...

...the chief gives them a task to avoid death. "Go into the jungle and pick 10 of the first fruit you find." The first man finds plums and brings back 10. The chief speaks, "You need to shove all 10 into your back exit without making a facial expression or you will be eaten alive." The man shoves on...

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Three men are trapped on an island inhabited by cannibals.

Soon enough they get caught. the leader tells them to go out into the woods and pick ten of any fruit they find then come back. The first man comes back with ten apples. The leader says to him "If you can stick all ten apples up your ass without making and sound or facial expression then you will be...

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The story of a man and his pregnant wife

My wife is prego, but we like to get kinky anyway. One night things begin to get particularly saucy - I'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights. It's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period, I look up at her glassy, jarred facial expres...

A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar of hundred dollar bills...

Guy asks the bartender, "What's the jar of hundred dollar bills for?"

Bartender says "Can't tell you until you've put in the cash."

Guy has a few beers, starts feeling ballsy, so he puts in the money.

Bartender tells him "So you can win this jar of bills, easily 10 grand, but yo...

Two newlyweds had been saving themselves for marriage

So there was some nervousness as they undressed each other in the honeymoon suite. As the husband removes his shoes and socks, his wife can't help but notice he has horribly disfigured feet.

Naturally he sees her noticing and explains, "When I was a young boy, I had a horrible case of Toeria...

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Three explorers are exploring a jungle when they come across a tribe of native people...

The natives capture them, and will give them freedom if they follow specific instructions. Each explorer is to go back and find five of the same fruits/vegetables/greens, each explorer finding a different fruit/veggie. So the three explorers go out to complete the task.
The first explorer comes b...

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A guy walks into a bar and notices a large glass full of money...

... He asks the bartender what is the glass for and he responds:
- It's an old bet I have going on, if you win you get all the money in the glass and a keys to a new Ferrari.
- Well tell me what I have to do to win! He responds.
- First you gotta pay up, ten bucks.
Not sure if he wanted ...

An airplane crashes on an uncharted island.

Out of everyone on board only 3 people survive, Bob, Jerry, and Rick. When they awake they have been captured by an indigenous tribe. As they beg for their survival the tribe leader speaks up.

Tribe leader: “you three have survived a big crash and are very lucky. As an act of mercy we will l...

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Three men are captured by a cannibal tribe

They are taken before the tribe leader, who tells them that they are to perform a trial, and if they succeed, they will not be eaten. All three are sent into the jungle with two tribesmen to pick a food item, then return to camp.

The first one returns with an apple. He is told that if he ca...

Three christian missionaries stumble upon a cannibal tribe in a tropical jungle

They are immediately captured, and taken back to the village.



The first missionary is brought in front of the chief, who amazingly speaks good English.

He tells the first missionary, "head out into the jungle, find a single fruit, and bring ten of its kind back. Don't think of ...

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Cannibals again!

Three friends are trekking through an aboriginal Amazonian jungle when they are captured by cannibals. They are taken to the chief one at a time for their doom. The chief explains how the cannibal society places great value on self control and bravery in the face of pain, and if they can successfu...

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Three men were out fishing in the ocean

Then this huge storm come and sweeps them way offshore. After a few days stranded, they spot an island and start paddling towards it with their hands. They get on the island thinking it's uninhabited but quickly find that it is inhabited by cannabils. They couldn't outrun the cannibals (who were ful...

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Three American anthropologists head to an island...

inhabited by a group of indigenous cannibals, in order to study the native culture. While filming the natives, the three men are captured by a savage hunting party are returned to the native's village.
The Americans are told by the chief that they have one chance to save their lives. Each perso...

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Cannibals

One day 3 men were walking through a deep forest unimaginably lost. Out of no where they are jumped by a group of cannibals who knock them out and drag them to their camp. When they come to they are surrounded by the cannibals and their king. The king tells to them that they will be allowed to leave...

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