UPJOKE
witnessspectatorviewerlookertestimoniesrecollectionfootageaffidavitautopsyalibisightingonlookercorroborationevidencewatcher

Eyewitness Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nazi walks into a bar...

How someone can hit their head multiple times on a metal bar lying on the ground is a mystery, but that's what the eyewitnesses all claim happened.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the eyewitness arrive to trial with one less testicle and a bag full of cash?

They were told to give teste-money

A young boy deposit 100$ everyday in the bank...

One day the general manager noticed the young boy and asked the clerk about him. He then told him that the young boy comes everyday and deposit exactly $100 each time. So the manager told the clerk to send him the lil boy the next time he comes to the bank. The next day the boy comes in and he's sen...

The search for escaped psychic Chris Tolbol has ended tragically today.

He was discovered after being hit by a train.

Eyewitnesses state that he didn't see it coming.

Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds.

Eyewitnesses report he left no tern unstoned.

At a state dinner, both the King of the Czech lands and the King of France happened to witness a murder.

The next day, they held a joint conference to describe what they each had seen. As the King of France gave his recollection of the details of the murder, the audience gasped and clutched their handkerchiefs and at the end swooned in amazement. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness...

TIL that while little is known about the Tiananmen Square "Tank Man," many eyewitnesses claim that he was actually run over shortly after the famous footage was taken. Indeed, the Mandarin nickname for this folk hero is "The Lobster"...

...because he was a crushed Asian.

Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer died today over Barcelona. He was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Holmes and Watson examining a naked dead body..

“Do you see that reddish impression there around the neck there Watson?” asked Holmes, pointing to the markings.

“Yes Sir, I see it” replied Watson.

“What do you make of it?”

“I’d say strangulation, Sir”.

“My thinking also Watson”.

Holmes moved to the feet, “...

[BREAKING NEWS] A bomb has just exploded in a Paris cheese shop.

Eyewitnesses report there is currently de Brie all over the place.

THIS JUST IN: Foreign suppliers of shredded cheese on strike.

Eyewitnesses report protesting workers holding signs that read: "MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN"

A young married couple are walking down the street...

...suddenly the girl trips and stumbles against something and gets mud on her shoes. Her partner helps her clean up, hails a nearby taxi and they drive off.

An eyewitness retells the scene to another:
"I saw this couple walk down the street, the woman tripped and fell in the mud, the guy h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.